Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

Plugs? How about nasal amputation?


Except even that would have very little chance of making runny, worm infested dog poop palatable, much less MqQain:

Dump MqQain

“Sorry, Juan. I went to extreme lengths to try and vote for you, but still couldn’t. (Although I did get this nifty T-shirt!)”

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Assassinating the Rules


Barack "RFK" Obama isn't the one in immediate danger.


iberals can quote a rule as readily as Lucifer can any passage of scripture. It's with the following of such each has inordinate difficulty.

They wouldn't be who they respectively are, however, unless they were breaking or ignoring the ones they find personally inconvenient. That, most of all, is what sets liberals and Lucifer apart from souls many would rightly consider both honest and trustworthy. It's why the phrase honest liberal is generally regarded to be only slightly more sensical than dehydrated water.

It also explains "Mrs." Williar Impeachedone al-Qlinton's obviously desperate attempt to assassinate "her" own party's clear and openly laid down rules.

After giving each state in the Union fair warning that if it held its Democrat primary before February 5, in violation of the party's bylaws which say only New Hampshire, Iowa, Nevada, and South Carolina may do so, and which all Democrats by virtue of their membership in the party mutually pledge one another to respect and follow, then responsible national party officials would take whatever actions they deem necessary to fulfill their duty to every Demoqrat in the county, of ensuring everyone's respect for those rules by punishing each and every inconsiderate and selfish member or group of them who not only think feel they don't necessarily have to follow the ones they don't like but thumb their upturned noses at their top officials, as well as all their fellow members whom they consider suckers for not feeling themselves above such rules too, as they proceed to flagrantly violate the same with neither any regard for the harm that would cause other members nor any expectation whatsoever that anyone should do anything at all to hold them in any way accountable for their irresponsible and inappropriate behaivor, even after being thoroughly warned about the consequences of that violation, guess what these national officials did after the party's echelon in Florida and Michigan proceeded to blatantly violate those bylaws? If you said "they did their duty," then you're not sufficiently selfish or inconsiderate to be one of Willy J***offerson al-Qlinton's Old "Lady"'s partners in crime. But you would be correct.

The duty of every organization's leaders is to enforce its rules for the good of all members, not just any self-appointed elite. If that elite can't or won't abide by the same rules everyone else has to, its continued presence will be a source of great harm to all "less special" members and, consequently, to the organization itself. For their own sake, those members would do well to either force that elite to abide by the rules or, if such isn't possible, purge it forever from their midst.

Senator Obama showed his respect for the Demoqrat Party's rules and its officials' measures to enforce them when he agreed to remove his name from the Michigan primary ballot.

Although "Her" Nibsjesty agreed to do so as well, "she" broke "her" promise — yes, surprise, surprise — after concluding that a ballot with only "her" name on it would mean "she" might have a chance of "winning" the most votes — the same way "her" admired counterparts used to win them in the former Soviet Union.

Sep 1, 2007 4:02 PM
al-Qlinton Qampaign Statement

The following is a statement by al-Qlinton Qampaign Manager Patti Solis Doyle.

"We believe Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina play a unique and special role in the nominating process.

"And we believe the DNC's rules and its calendar provide the necessary structure to respect and honor that role.

"Thus, we will be signing the pledge [with fingers crossed] to adhere to the DNC approved nominating calendar."

August 31, 2007
Four State Pledge Letter 2008

WHEREAS, over a year ago, the Demoqratiq National Qommittee established a 2008 nominating calendar;

WHEREAS, this calendar honors the racial, ethnic, economic and geographic diversity of our party and our country;

WHEREAS, the DNQ also honored the traditional role of retail politics early in the nominating process, to ensure that money alone will not determine our presidential nominee;

WHEREAS, it is the desire of Presidential campaigns, the DNQ, the states and the American people to bring finality, predictability and common sense to the nominating calendar.

THEREFORE, I  Billecherson al-Qlintoon's Old "Lady" , Democratic Candidate for President, pledge I shall not campaign or participate in any state which schedules a presidential election primary or caucus before Feb. 5, 2008, except for the states of Iowa, Nevada, New Hampshire and South Carolina, as "campaigning" is defined by the rules and regulations of the DNQ. It does not include activities specifically related to raising campaign resources such as fundraising events or the hiring of fundraising staff.

 "Mrs." B.J. Rotten al-Qaqkles   Sep 1, 20079 (mwwuhaha haha)  
Demoqratiq Qandidate for PresidentDATE

Seeking an unfair advantage and being "Her" Royal Nibsness are, of course, synonymous.

As privileged as Michigan and Florida's Demoqrass polheads manifestly feel they are, they aren't above the rules that they and all other members of their party agreed to faithfully follow. Worse, they violated those rules knowing full well how much that violation would adversely affect not-so-privileged members in other states, forcing the latter to make last minute changes in their election schedules — just to accommodate the violators' illicit ones — thus sowing widespread confusion among voters.

Did those polheads care? (Is Juan MqQain actually a conservative?)

Worst of all, they knew their violations would force the party's national officials to resort to imposing the only meaningful punishment that wouldn't effectively amount to Crime Does Pay® and the other states' Demoqrats saps are doing the paying. Yet the rules assassins still want a special exemption. Does that mean Michigan's primary voters who wanted to cast their ballots for Senator Obama but couldn't (because he followed the rules) are supposed to be happy that anyone who wanted to cast one for Senibsator al-Qaqkles and did (because "she" violated the rules) will see his ballot counted but not their own?

Why is Bluedress Stainerson al-Qlinton's Old "Lady" working so hard to ensure not only that just "her" voters get to make choices but that all those Obama voters just get disenfranchised? Is "she" a racist?

Billjob's "wife" Hillosery wants to say, "Yes, I can get rewarded for cheating."

It's the duty of every party leader, out of fairness to all members, to ensure that, no, "she" can't!

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Speaking of Cubanada...


Sen. Obama's right. There are going to be 57 states!


ight after Canada's northern and easternmost provinces, along with every polar bear, succumb to Teh Melted Arctic Ice Cap Calamitastrophe™ in five years ten years fifty years the Impending GorEnd Times®, its remaining ones are going to have to join Barry's Union of Soviet-style Socialist States of America. See? (If you don't see, then you're a racist.)

BO's 7 'new' states

Of course, before teh MAICC, we'll need to build a People's Democratic Sea Wall (or Great Sea Wall of Chinada, appropriately shown in red) to save Provinces Nos. 7 through 10 — thenceforth known as Michellitoba, Barackatchewan, Algorerta, and Obamish Husseinia, respectively — as well as Alaska from all the mass drownings.

Also, Provinces Nos. 3, 5, and 6 would be renamed New Changewick, Hopebec, and Wrightario.

Then Mrs. Obama will have seven other reasons to be extremely proud of this country.

Inspired by ScrappleFace (View From 1776).

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Canada's 'Human Rights' Commission Forbids Free Thinking


Exempts itself from being held accountable by anyone too.


hank the Lord Almighty I live in a free country, and not in one like her neighbor to the north.

Even if that country thought-police state changed its name to Cubanada and selected a bearded cigar smoker for its prime minister, the resemblance couldn't be more striking.

Click on its proposed new flag to see how relevant the following sample quotations are to today's Cubanadian citizens subjects.

Soviet Cubanada
Cubanada's symbol of solidarity with another regressive relic of repressiveness (Right Wing News)

In my article "On the People's Democratic Dictatorship," written in 1949, I said, "The combination of these two aspects, democracy for the people and dictatorship over the reactionaries, is the people's democratic dictatorship."
Mao Tse-tung (1893-1976), Dictator of Communist China
On the Correct (sic) Handling of Contradictions Among the People, February 27, 1957

In our state, naturally, there can be no place for freedom of speech, press, and so on for the foes of socialism.
Andrey Yanuaryevich Vyshinsky (1883-1954), Chief Prosecutor of the Soviet Union
The Law (sic) of the Soviet State, 1948

Anyone who incites against the social order, international solidarity or the socialist state by means of verbal, written or any other kind of propaganda, or who makes, distributes or possesses such propaganda, can be imprisoned from between one to eight years.
Article 103, Cuba Criminal (sic) Code

Anyone who threatens, slanders, defames, insults, harms or in anyway outrages or offends, verbally or in writing, the dignity or honor of an authority, public official, or their agents or auxiliaries, in the exercise of their functions or because of them can be imprisoned for between three months and one year or fined or both. If the act of disrespect is directed at the head of state or other senior officials the penalty is a prison term from one to three years.
Article 144, Cuba Criminal (sic) Code

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Bisexuals demand polygamous marriage 'rights'


"It's unfair to deny me my right to marry the ones I love."


loving and long-term committed relationship with another person," as the California supreme court über-branch describes it, is all fine and good when you're sexually attracted to either the opposite or the same sex. But what if you're so attracted to each sex? Are you forced to choose only one sexual orientation when you marry? Isn't that discriminatory?

This court judicialegislativexecutive decision says you have the right to marry someone of the opposite sex. It also says you have the right to marry someone of the same sex. But it doesn't say you have the right to marry them both. Where's the equal protection?

Is there any excuse for such monogamist bigotry which the court's star chamber's members blatantly displayed throughout their decision? I won't call them polygaphobes. But don't you think they could've at least considered the rights of omnisexuals before "fixing" Proposition 22 the democratic choice of the people of California?

Indeed, did that state's judiciary absolute monarchy really intend to reserve the designation of marriage exclusively for opposite-sex and same-sex couples? What about multi-sex triples, quadruples, etc.? Are its officers crowned heads saying the latter human beings — who love each other just as much as any of those other human beings do — deserve to be denied such equal dignity and respect? (Of course I haven't even touched on the marriage rights of autosexuals!)

Either allow "marriage" to mean whatever anyone wants it to, or don't give judges would-be kleptocrats any power whatsoever to declare what it means.

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Rush, if you love Hillosery so much


...why don't you marry "her"?


rs." Hillosery Rottin' al-Limbaugh. Starting to have a nice ring to it.


• • • – – – • • •

Mr. Williar Jobblowerson al’Qlinton (D-AR NY DC)
requests the pleasure of
your company
at the marriage of his alleged “wife”
“Her” Nibs Hilliary-r-dum al’Qlinton (D-AQA)
Mr. Rush Limbaugh (E-IB)
at The Hotel Dumpwater, Ratford
on Thursday 28th August
at 6 o’clock
followed by a bigscreen-TV viewing of
Mr. O’blahma’s acceptance speech.

• • • – – – • • •


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...or Go P for Principles.


epublicans by and large are, if not indeed then at least in temperament, businessmen and women. Our party leaders, however, have long ceased behaving and thinking like risk-taking executives. Today they're more like CorpCrap™ sycophants than CEOs.

So what's to be done? Even if the current "leaders" were suddenly all inclined to listen for a change to our answers and even act on them, it's likely too late now for that increasingly abandoned approach to do the party any of the world of good it otherwise very much could. Hopefully I'm wrong. So on the off chance it isn't too late and principles still somehow matter to them, I'm going to dust off my free-advice dispenser and give their depleted uranium-lined skulls this one last shot:

If I were our Republican President, I would—

  1. Remove from the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) the meager 2,000 acres of stark, featureless, very non-pristine and inhospitable Coastal Plain wilderness that contains an estimated super field of 3.5 billion barrels of oil, and start a national-emergency drilling program that will extract the first of this oil in less than a year.

    Principle: Chasing after pie in the sky energy "alternatives" in a way that crowds out and curtails much needed expansion of present, proven methods of energy production is suicidal for a nation at war.

  2. Build in less than a year double-layer border fencing from San Diego to Brownsville under a necessary and proper invocation of national emergency or war powers, as well as current border security statutes.

    Principle: Our nation's borders will be respected. Period.

  3. Hire state-licensed bounty hunters to find and capture anyone who has unlawfully entered our country.

    Principle: Punishing, without exception, anyone who violates our immigration laws is much more important in time of war than appeasing anyone who wants our very own government to pardon or ignore such violations.

  4. Arrest the owners or top officers of any business that hires illegal aliens, on the charge of aiding and abetting the latter's unlawful presence in our country.

    Principle: If you're in the business of encouraging illegal aliens to cross our borders so you can exploit them once they're here, then law enforcement's going to put you out of business.

  5. Issue an ultimatum to Iran: You have no justification whatsoever, with all your oil, to develop anything nuclear, especially when you're officially a state sponsor of terrorism. That is a direct threat to every nation's security. Therefore you will, within six months, permanently and verifiably dismantle your entire nuclear development program or we'll do it for you.

    Principle: In a World War, we will not tolerate anything that could be readily used to arm, strengthen, or supply the enemy.

  6. Officially declare "Global Warming," Inc. a pernicious hoax.

    Principle: Consensus is not science. We will not proceed to wreck or weaken our nation's or the global economy, especially while we're fighting a World War against even more clearly and presently dangerous fanatics, without solid, replicable proof that The End™ is even half as near as the sanctimonious, fanatical fear mongers who're greedily perpetrating or perpetuating this hoax claim.

  7. Immediately go into Pakistan's western lawless region and destroy the enemy.

    Principle: The enemy will receive no sanctuary from anyone anywhere, anytime, anymore.

The above I believe would do much to get Republicans back in good standing with American voters — to restore the Grand Old Party to one based on actual, worthy principles, not worthless, futile pandering; on strength, not weakness. But only if its current crop of alleged leaders start disregarding whatever the DeMSMoqrats and their highhanded hired hands, the pollshyster propagandists, each of whom now and will always slight and despise our party regardless what we do, say about any of us.

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A state that still elects former klansmen


...didn't support "a darky"? Color me (pun required) surprised.


est Virginia's Demoqrat senator and favorite ex-KKK Exalted Cyclops and official recruiter Robert "There Are White Niggers" Byrd — who voted against Thurgood Marshall's confirmation, who opposed the Voting Rights Act, who tried to derail the original Civil Rights Act, and who wrote he'd rather "die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds" — must be very proud today that three-fifths two-thirds of his fellow Demokkkrats felt it'd be less degrading for their state to vote for an almost-indicted admitted liar than any such "race mongrel throwback."

Too bad they have only 28 delegates to split between the two, else their votes might have kept this beloved land of ours from nominating "the blackest specimen from the wilds" for president.

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al-Qaeda in Iraq Top Leader Captured


The DeMSMoqratiq Party will start ignoring this victory in 5... 4... 3....

An Interior Ministry spokesman said an associate of [AQI leader Abu Ayyab al-]Masri detained in an earlier operation took security forces late on Wednesday to where the al Qaeda leader was hiding.

After being detained, Masri confessed to being the al Qaeda in Iraq leader, he said, adding that his identity still had to be confirmed. Other Iraqi security officials said the suspect was in American custody for identification.

Al Qaeda in Iraq was headed by the Jordanian militant Abu Musab al-Zarqawi until he was killed in a U.S. air strike in June 2006. His successor, Masri, was Zarqawi's close associate, and has a U.S. bounty of $5 million (2.6 million pounds) on his head.

Duraid Kashmula, the governor of Nineveh province, of which Mosul is the capital, also said the detained man had confessed to being Masri.


ike Hillosery “Bill's ‘Wife’” al-Qlinterminated's presidential campaign lying, cheating, stealing effort to seize absolute power for "her"self and "her" same old sociocommunist comrades, al-Qaeda in Iraq is for all intents and purposes dead.

Lars Larson

Update: Rattling the enemy
Friday, May 09, 2008, 10:01 PM

U.S. denies Iraqi reports of al-Masri's capture

By Joseph Giordono, Stars and Stripes
Mideast edition, Saturday, May 10, 2008

U.S. military officials denied reports Friday that Iraqi forces had captured the leader of al-Qaida in Iraq in the northern city of Mosul on Thursday.

Iraqi officials claimed late Thursday they had arrested Abu Ayyub al-Masri — also known as Abu Hamza al-Mujahir — during a raid in Mosul, which has been described as the last urban stronghold in the country for al-Qaida in Iraq and other Sunni insurgent groups.

But the top U.S. military spokesman in Iraq, Rear Adm. Gregory Smith, said Friday that "Neither (U.S. nor Iraqi forces) detained or killed AAM yesterday."

"AAM" refers to al-Masri.

Several other U.S. officials in Iraq said on background that the Iraqis had arrested a man with "a similar or the same name" as the al-Qaida in Iraq leader, leading to the announcement by the Iraqi army late Thursday.

How many of AAM's fellow terrorist leaders put in a phone call to him after hearing about his capture to find out whether it was true? How many of those calls were we able to intercept or trace?

How relieved were those leaders there and the Dhimm'al-qratiq Party's ones here after finding out AAM wasn't captured?

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MqQain says don't be too hard on illegals


I mean, come on, they're only breaking into our homeland and stealing from and harming us. You know, doing the things that no law-abiding American would ever do.


uanny, you simpering, sniveling, conniving sack of Demoshat Party lackeyedness. The next time law enforcement officers anywhere in our nation declare their intention to, you know, actually support and enforce our nation's laws, as all of them — and you, in case you need reminding, which invariably and obviously is the case every time you open your big, stupid trap — are solemnly sworn to do, just do us all a favor and don't open it. At all.

Better yet, from now on just keep it shut.

No more of this—

"A lot of times it saddens me to see these conflicting approaches toward the issue of illegal immigration because we would not have this problem if the federal government had carried out its responsibilities," McCain said Monday during a Cinco de Mayo news conference in Phoenix....

"I believe that the majority of Hispanics share our view that the border must be secured, and the border must be secured first," McCain said. "But [heh] they also want us to have an attitude, which I think most Americans do, that these are God's children and they must be taken care of, or the issue must be addressed, in a humane and compassionate fashion. And I will continue to carry that message with the priority that we must secure our borders first."

Part of McCain's outreach includes a new Spanish-language campaign Web site, launched Monday, and a July 14 appearance at the Council of La Raza's annual convention in San Diego. The Council of La Raza is a national Hispanic civil-rights and advocacy organization.

No. The Council of La Raza, or "The Race," is a racist organization that openly advocates disrespect for and outright breaking of the law.

Exactly the kind of slimy group you're always willing to go to extreme lengths to pander to and carry water for, Señoritor MqRINO MqQennedy.

McCain Peso

Dump MqQain

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Anthropogenic Foodstuff Change


We have a real consensus!


enilitor Ted "I Murdered Mary Jo" al-Qennedy, Dismalqrat from Manslaughteretts, even agrees. Human beings are starving out the planet.

But the nazi flat-earther Holocaust Global Starving® Deniers™ would that we all simply simple mindedly bury our heads in the sandwich bread and let Earth Mother Gaia's stomach growl louder and louder until everyone turns into a bunch of cannibals (© 2008 Ted Turdner).

"Those distended bellies in the Third World, if they really do exist, could be due to anything," said one denier future defendant at some sort of foodstuff Nuremberg. "Natural cycles, perhaps. Or Michael Mooribund hitting another all-you-can-eat lunch buffet at Pizza Hut." Then he gets even stupider: "You just can't take a few belly measurements and jump to the conclusion that humans driving around in their FFVs is the reason it's all happening." What an utter Moore-on.

Of course, abetting them in their denial Crime Against Humanity are the dirty evil greedy record-profit money grubbers of Big Green. They've been making a killing — literally — off selling the notion that the only way to Save the Planet® is for everyone to "go green." As in go ahead and buy your corn guzzling cars and don't worry about The Children™ in Haiti having to eat mud cookies for supper as a result! Why should they or those Gulf of Mexico Dead Zones deny you any of the joys of green living?

Now all the Really Smart People, being so well-edumacated, already consense that unless all our governments and the United Nations do something major right now to prevent this Impending Cataclysmic Catastrophe O' Doom — like raising everyone's taxes so we can help poor people buy carbohydrate offsets — every single person on the planet will die by 2015 2035 2072 a Year So Horribly Close We Dare Not Even Try Naming It™.

All the Stupid People, on the other hand, aren't really smart enough to consense that our entire world is facing such imminent peril.

When these people aren't disputing or outright ignoring the dire reports by renowned foodstuffologists, restaurateurs, nutritionists, and grocers comprising the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Foodstuff Change, they're no doubt either stupidly reading looking at the pictures in An Inconvenient Unconvincing Truth or voting for Hillosery Rob'em al-Qlinton.

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