Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

Qonfessions of a Qlinton Qampaign Qomfort Quizzer


Q & A--holes in "Her" Nibs' story.


emoqrat Planty runt funner "Her"Nibsary RobEm' al-Qlitler isn't prepared to be leader of "her" own rigid, repressively scripted campaign, much less the freest, most dynamic county on earth.

Having an extremely infamous name which everyone answering current polls most easily recognizes on any list of candidates, when only a small fraction of those polled actually knows anything about any of the candidates' positions (if any) on any issue, may help you when you're trying to raise a lot of money or win a popularity contest. But it's no stable or conclusive measurement of either your perceived abilities as a leader or your viability as a candidate among what inescapably will be a far better informed base of "likely voters" between now and when Howardy Deanham al-Qlinton frighteningly barks in chronological order the names of all the states "she"'s about to lose in right before blurting out "her" last Primal Qackle™.

Not even "her" irritatingly monotone, fingernails-down-a-chalkboard voice can cover up the fact "she" reeks of inexperience. That office of Junior Senator™, with its lackluster baggage full of miserable failures, hasn't rated "her" anything greater than a single year's chairwomanship of a small, minor backwater subcommittee in al-Qongress. Infrequently presiding over just nine members (including "her"self) with nothing really better to do at the time than discuss "Superfund and Environmental Health" — whatever that is — is as far from presiding 24/7 over all three hundred million souls (and growing) inextricably living in the greatest superpower on earth — the world's third-largest country by size and by population — as the primitive flying cockroach is from matching the airspeed and altitude of the most advanced hypersonic jet aircraft.

But enough about "her" scurrying around the back benches of our Senate. The only thing more gross is how "she" thinks feels that just this lowly, legislative-branch junior seat sippy cup-holding highchair of "her"s, where for seven years "she"'s done absolutely nothing on "her" own other than rename a post office and designate one brick house a historic site, constitutes enough elective office experience to somehow realistically pass for anyone's "qualifications" to hold our nation's highest office and command all our Armed Forces who are engaged in brutal combat and fighting to win this World War for all freedom-loving peoples.

"She" couldn't finagle that record baggage, if "her" life depended on it, into one qualified to be a junior co-director of the office of waste management in Mozambique. Much, much, much less the leader of the entire free world.

By the way, that last link makes clear what the meaning of "Environmental Health" is. It deals with raw sewage, animal manure, sludge, drainage-ditch muck, discarded placentas and other wastes, muddied waters, garbage-dump leaks, and similarly unhealthy slime. Precisely the subject and germane matter The Junior Senator™ is considered by "her" colleagues eminently qualified to preside over in the only subcommittee — out of dozens and dozens in our Senate — they could dredge up (pun intended) for just that one single chair assignment "she" has the juniority and total want of status to ever rate.

How appropriate. Nothing else more perfectly illustrates "her" competency and incompetencies all at the same time.

"Her" Nibs responding to a reporter who asked, "Senator, what are you going to be telling Americans this election?"

Not that any of these details could ever be important to "her."

After all, "she" has ideas. A million of them. So stupendous are they that a nation of laws — and not of some self-appointed, self-absorbed, self-interested elite's arbitrary feelings about the so-called common good, universally imposed in such despotic fashion as to fully exclude and then totally obviate even the idea of anyone else having any real choice — "can't afford them all" (if any).

Does one need any kind of actual experience when one has truckload after truckload after truckload of fertilizer ideas? Including about every single thing "she"'s, thankfully, both for and against?

Senator Hillary Clinton. The frontrunner for the Democratic presidential nomination is a marvel of contradictions. She's not running as a woman but reminds us every day that she is. She's got "executive experience" but her years in the White House don't count. She promises a fantastically "open" administration, but is blocking the release of her records as First Lady. She's for driver's licenses for illegal immigrants, then she's not, then she is, and then she's not. She called her opponents "naïve" for saying they'd talk to our enemies, but she says she will too. She voted for the Iraq war but wants the troops home immediately but won't do it until at least the end of her first term in 2013. She's for free trade but wants to make trade less free. For the sheer entertainment value of your chutzpah: thank you.

[Muriel Gallo-Chasanoff] said the "head of publicity for the [al-Qlinton] campaign," a man whose name she could not recall, had no factual disputes with the story [about a Qlinton Qomfort Question™ being planted on her]. But, she added, a[n al-Q]linton intern spoke to her to say the campaign requested she not talk about the story to any more media outlets and that if she did she should inform a staffer [or else a staffer would "do a Foster" on her?].
Even about what questions "she"'ll plant in row after row afer row of "her" audience members, where none will ever grow into anything but the poorest harvest of straight answers?

Now if being a phony, a liar, a crook, and a cackling psycho were the qualifications voters are demanding this election cycle, we'd have already amended our constitution so there'll be no more elections and "she" could crown "her"self "Queen"-For-Against-Life Hilliary Rotten I of Great America and Assorted Territories.

The facts are "she"'s not qualified; "she"'s the unfresh, same old wrinkled face of Washington, District of Crooks; "she"'s an enemy of the individual who wants to make everyone who doesn't tow "her" line an enemy of the state — including levying hefty fines on anyone who commits the "crime" of being too poor to buy health insurance; "she"'s on the take — to the tune of $854,462, if not more (the highest now in al-Qongress) — from Big Medicine, as "she's" corruptly and unethically promoting legislation and policy changes highly favorable to it in return, regardless how much those will do us harm when we become ill (including when we get the bill for just "her" first of many hikes in all our taxes);

Sir Edmund Flippary-Floppary
(President Bush) threatens to veto the legislation we passed (to get out of Iraq completely by March 2008), which has been something that all of us have been advocating for a number of years now. And I can only hope that he will not veto it.
April 2007 Dhimmiqrat presidential candidates "debate"
I do not think it is a smart strategy either for the president to continue with his open-ended commitment, nor do I think it is smart strategy to set a date certain. I do not agree that is in the best interests of our troops or our country.
June 2006 Take Stab in the Back America conference
"she"'s a flip-flopping for-and-against-it fence straddler: "she"'s in favor of liberating Iraq before "she"'s against it, "she"'s in favor of giving illegal immigrants a free pass at the expense of law-abiding residents before "she"'s against it, "she"'s in favor of trusting General Petraeus as the leader of our Combat Troops in Iraq before she's against it, "she"'s in favor of using so-called torture on top-ranking terrorists Weapons of Mass Murder™ if doing so would save immediately-threatened American lives before "she"'s against it, "she"'s in favor of redeploying immediately raising the white flag of surrender over all our Combat Troops in Iraq before "she"'s against it, "she"'s in favor of talking nice with unconditionally appeasing the terror-sponsoring Iranian thugocracy that's murdering our Troops before "she"'s against it, and "she"'s in favor of "staying the course" in Iraq before "she"'s against it; "she"'s another duplicitous acolyte of Unsettled Nitwits-defined Climate Cha-Ching!® who doesn't want you to see how much their manufactured crisis™ of anthropportunistic Gorebull Waaalarming is only a shaky excuse for gargantuan government, richer research grantees, and far fewer freedoms for everyone — especially us "criminally irresponsible" "Holocaust climate cha-ching! deniers" and anyone else daring to utter the least blasphemy against their Church of Consensual "Science" or any of its extreme tenets; "she"'s plagued by a tortuous secretiveness that, when combined with "her" grandiose sense of perpetual victimhood, is indistinguishable from paranoia; "she"'s the willing puppet of billionaire George Siros and his New World Odor®; "she"'s lying — Surprise, Surprise™ — when "she" says all the documents from "her" 1993 HilldabeastlyQare task force (with emphasis on "force") have been released; "she"'s lying — (ditto) — about how many "ministers" endorse "her"; "she"'s lying — (magaditto) — about "her" daughter being directly in harms way "when the plane hit!" the World Trade Center's north tower, all in a blatantly transparent and unnuanced attempt to turn "her" own offspring into some kind of useful, sympathy-getting 9/11 Prop™; "she"'s factually false — either cluelessly or intentionally, or both — when "she" denies "having a role in the [1993] White House travel office firings [mammoth injustices]" that brutally cleared the way for hiring "her" Thomason Corp. cronies to replace the career employees "she" massacred there; "she"'s a humorless harpy who has the ghoulish gall to not only claim that slain civil-rights leader Mahatma Gandhi is running a gas station in St. Louis but believe that normal people would somehow consider such a claim funny; "she"'s receiving glowing endorsements from the likes of the Iranian-backed "militant" terrorist group al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades' West Bank terrorist chief Ala Senakreh and Gaza Strip terrorist chief Abu Hamed, former French president Jocque ChIraq's "wife" Bernadette, Playboy founder "Puffin" Hugh Hefner (that Great Defender of Women's Dignity®), "world's most famous porn star and adult industry icon" Jenna Jameson, sex-industry veteran "Madam" Heidi Fleiss, disgraced liar "Mr." Joseph C[lown]. Wilson-Plame IValerie, Chinese-embassy bomber "General" Ashley Wilkes Weasely Clark, "Babs" Streisand, head-rapping "rapper" and profanitistbirm 800Gs4HoC Timbalan(-wor)d( user), communist dictatorbirm "Comandante" Fidel Castro, "progressive" liberal big-government bureauqratsbirm, Qlinton maladministration Secretary of Labor Robert Reich, and obviously the "'newspaper' of record (declines in circulation and stock value)" New York Slimes and "her" Qlinton News Network; "she"'s indeed sHrillary; "she"'s the dirtiest of dirty tricksters, making Richard Nixon appear a purely altruistic and selfless servant of the people by comparison; and "she"'s in way over "her" head to boot.

Also, there are "her" many lapses in judgment. In addition to "her" extremely poor judgment in "unofficially" hiring convicted national-secrets thief Sandy Burglar as a top Qlinton Qampaign Advisor Qonniver, we have

More Lack of Judgment

Now that this story [about "Her" Nibs refusing to return campaign contributions "she" received from Big Oil® baron Oscar Wyatt, who's on trial for paying kickbacks to Saddam Hussein] is in the news, I'm certain that Hillary will donate the money to charity, and make a big public relations thrust while doing so. That['s] what her campaign does best — make lemonade out of lemons. But this does highlight Hillary's biggest weakness — lack of judgment. Her first instinct is not to do what's right, but what's best for her own self interest. In this case, money. [emphasis supplied]

What happened when Norman Hsu comes along and produces $850 thousand in bundled contributions for Hillary. What did Hillary do? Did she check up on Hsu to see if he were legit? There are two questions for every major contribution. Where did the money come from and what does the donor want. Hillary never asked either of those two questions. If she had she would never have accepted his money. No one in Hillary's campaign tried to contact any of Hsu's companies. If they had they would have learned he was not legit. Did she try to check out his public record? Had she done so she would have learned that he was an escaped felon.

When warned that Hsu might be a crook she defended him in no uncertain terms. Did she know he was a crook and therefore lied in his behalf? No way!!! Hillary is not the type that would go out on a limb for someone she knew was a crook.

Hillary did not think she was going out on a limb by defending Hsu. That means that a third rate con artist who had been convicted of a felony and run out of both the China and the USA was able to con Hillary Clinton in to believing him.. How dumb must Hillary be to be conned by an obvious con artist. What a super sized ego she must have to trust her own judgment enough to forgo a background check. [emphases supplied]

The rumors of "her" smartestness have been greatly misexaggerated. Now they're just thoroughly booed.

This goes beyond "her" trying to outdo "her" "husband"'s level of criminality and corruption so "she" can snatch off his championship belt and be crowned "Slick Hilliary." It has even less to do with "her" overblown sense of entitlement to rule over us inferior beings as "Her" Non-Absorbantness the "Empress" Heir Apparent Certain sHrillary the Grate (on "her" subjects' nerves). Nor does "she" ever expect there to be, rising from those lesser women and men, any considerable insistence on an actual atonement for "her" Qlinton Qrime Qin's already formidable abuse and debasement of our highest office via, inter alia, their sleazily established Department of Pardons and Commutations for Half-Million-Dollar Donors to Our Library and Other Enterprises, for Cocaine Traffickers Paying $200,000 to Our Qinfolk, for Convicted Felons Rounding Up and Delivering 1,400 Votes to The "Wife"'s Senatorial Campaign, and for Any Other Crooks, Murderers on Death Row, Terrorists, Tax Cheats, Embezzlers, and Sundry Lowlifes Willing and/or Able to Offer in Return Something That Would Benefit Us Personally.

(Not that "she"'ll ever admit there's anything wrong with that. After all, as Qo-Prezudint of the Qlintons' Qo-Qonspirators Qlub — like Mickey's but with none of the wholesomeness, and a literal and broad emphasis on "Qlub," preferably nail-studded — "she" has their destroyed reputations to maintain:

What amazes me is where the Clintons keeping finding these suckers. As ubiquitously infamous as the Boris & Natasha of the Ozarks are for reducing anybody who associates with them to the status of pawns on a chessboard (e.g. Sandy Berger) and treating their staffers like Josef Stalin did the Russian infantry, you'd think the word would get around that going to work for these two isn't a good idea, at least if your personal reputation still means anything to you.

With such cacophony of unmitigated slime and sleaze owing favors to, or being owed favors from this political Bonnie and Qlyde, a return of both Do-Anything-to-Gain-Power Delinquents — that Darling Duo of the Drive-Bys — to the Oval Office, would effectively end for this generation, if not in our lifetimes, any and all chances of our ever again holding accountable, much less cleaning up, a Washington Gangland, D.C. after it has suffered a third term under their tight grip and control. Each gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "person of convictions," conjuring up images of indictments and court-ordered depositions instead of integrity or courageous directness, and thus making it sound more like "person of interest." Williar Jeffersleaze Slutton and his old "lady" Slithery Rogueflam may not have invented crookedness, but they own the patent and all the trademarks on every super industrial grade form of it.)

Neither will there be any intrepid, enterprising young journalists finding a way to get at, read, and report on Diane Blair's extensive, primary-source material documenting BiIsIs Qlinton and his old "lady"'s 1992 "Twofer" presidential co-campaign currently ensconced behind archivist Kerry Jones' closed doors in the University of Arkansas Libraries' special collections — or at the very least, finding and directly interviewing "the two Honors College interns... [who] were indispensable as processors of" that material (Lindley Carruth Shedd being one) — and thus upsetting any of "her" Qold & Qalculated™ plans.

No. What we must heed, if we're to become our country's true bosses again rather than continue being just her figurehead ones, is our own hard-won, time-tested American Way: a unique way of thinking and acting independently which alone makes possible each and every citizen's pursuit of the American Dream — a way and a dream which no other people on earth has ever really tried to live — and which defines both our character and our very existence as a nation. That dream is the individual's realization of self-sufficiency based on faith in one's abilities, not the other way around. All Americans have the right and the responsibility to possess it, to nurture it, and to resist any attempt by anyone or anything to deny them that. This resistance includes doing whatever it takes to ensure that no government or foreign power may ever stand in the way of such dream. It is the same Spirit of '76 that not only bore our country's freedom 231 years ago but is still bearing that of each of her citizens today.

Unlike the Founding Fathers', our struggle to keep the American Way alive is primarily against forces that are internal, not external. Accompanying our polynomial progress in invention and wealth has been one away from effective self-sufficiency towards, essentially, the individual's total and permanent dependence on a masterhood of Orthodox Liberalist conformity, imposed and enforced by that endless, universally permeating sea of government agencies and programs it created and still in large part controls solely for its own preservation and expansion. Two centuries ago we were a very small nation peerless in spirit. Now the opposite is becoming true. This is hardly a recipe for securing the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.

The clearest and most present manifestation of those forces are Demagogic Party zealots like "Mrs." BiIsIs al-Qlinton who're trying to convince enough people there are problems everywhere which only government can solve. Then, after government steps in and makes all such problems worse, they'll just try convincing the same people those worse problems require more government to solve. And they'll keep repeating that mantra until there's nothing left but intractable problems and intractable government: i.e., Mission Accomplished®.

Unless we're able to do things on our own — to solve our own problems without such "help" interference — we won't have any real say in, much less control over anything we do.

Free Americans don't want, much less need, yet another burdensome and costly round of that "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you"™ snake oil. Like all its past peddlers, BiIsIs Qlinton's old "lady" feels "she" can sucker us into wanting "her" Miracle Concoction® that, in reality, we neither need nor would find delivers anything besides far more harm than any ailment "she" not only alleges we have but claims is practically incurable except for our frequently guzzling "her" exclusive formula in enormous quantities that, as it so conveniently happens, only "she" would be able to ever supply us once we become "her" newfound fools addicts customers.

Such willful suspension of belief in ourselves — particularly in our own abilities to identify every genuine problem of ours and to figure out and implement the best solution by and for ourselves — is beneath us. Lest we dare forget:

We are heirs of the most far-reaching, most reverberating, most successful revolution in all of human history. In less than ten years the people of this country, against all odds, totally abolished every vestige of authority exerted over them for nearly two centuries by an overly centralized and faraway national government, one increasingly tyrannical and intrusive in application until it became intolerable, and completely replaced it with a wholly new form that proved in every sense closer to our own intention and will. Then, for an encore, we went on to conquer and tame an entire continent.

We are natural-born problem solvers. We needed a New World to settle: Done. We needed a successful revolution: Done. We needed a constitution for the ages: Done. We needed a great, coast-to-coast country: Done.

We are the topmost model of human freedom. We have led every victorious rebellion against aggressive expansion of government tyranny. (Just ask any supporter of King George III, the Spanish Empire, National Socialist Germany, Imperial Japan, the Soviet Union, or today's Democommierat Party of the United States.) That's because we embrace "the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state, but from the hand of God."

We the people have more than ample reason to believe in ourselves. No one rules us. We govern ourselves solely by mutual, written, and always-revocable consent.

Everyone who desires to support and defend the American Way would do well to remember each and every one of these things. They will, as S.T. Karnick puts it, "fire the imagination of those headed to political combat" against nanny-state elitist extremists like Mrs. B.J. Qlinton's old "lady" who viciously oppose and want to destroy it.

The great challenge for contemporary defenders of freedom may be to create a vision of a free society that sounds as good as the fantastic schemes of the utopians, if that is indeed possible. And it may well be: The fact is, freedom works. Free people reduce economic inequality, lift multitudes out of poverty, cure diseases, clean up the environment, and make lives longer and more comfortable. And social freedom need not undermine religion or morality. Echoing sociologist Rodney Stark and others, Anderson attributes America's religious strength to the nation's "free market of religions." When people are truly free to choose, they tend to be religious, as America demonstrates so vividly.

Perhaps, then, there is indeed a highly appealing picture that champions of freedom can draw — of Ronald Reagan's "shining city upon a hill," a place of both liberty and order, where people are free to pursue their dreams as long as they don't harm others, and in which their dreams are constrained by a modest sense of their place in the world based on a recognition of their humble status before the Almighty. The world is always going to have its share of dreamers, so we might as well give them something good to dream about.

Like all liberals and other extreme socialist regressives, Mr. Because-I-Could Qlinton's old "lady" is too blinded by "her" personal greed and lust for absolute power to ever correctly see the true genius of the America Way. For one thing, "she" has its order backwards. The state doesn't create for its benefit free individuals who in turn create for their own benefit God. God creates for His benefit free individuals who in turn create for their own benefit the state.

Like all liberals and other would-be tyrants, Hystericallary ROTFLMCAOdham al-Qlinton is prone to desperately shriek, "I'm the one person they are most afraid of!" (They being everyone "she" hates for The Unpardonable Sin™ of daring to stand in "her" way as "she" grubbily tries to grab ever more and more power.) Of course here "she"'s also wrong, confusing for fear our deep and utter revulsion at the mere sight of "her" ghastly visage: that abyss-lined "face of the (Qlinton mal-)Administration on foreign affairs" which brought America and the world such scary and catastrophic debacles as Somalia quagmire, North Korea nuclear weapons, Rwanda genocide, Bosnia prolonged civil war, NATO bombing of Chinese embassy, Khobar Towers and U.S. embassies massacres, China missile improvement, Yemen and USS COLE near sinking, UN Oil-for-Food scam, and Osama bin Laden not killed.

And "Her" Nibs wants to take America back to those days of continual infamy.

No thanks.

Been there. Done that. Got the Made-in-China P.N.tee.R. shirt.

One ride on the bone-jarring (and bones-jumping) Qlinton Scream Qackle Machine® was quite enough for the American people. Much more than any nation of free citizens should ever be forced to stand.

Never again.

We'll let B.J. & the Beast's dwindling number of fellow willing-suspension-of-disbelievers quaff a Qlinton snale oil Qool-Aid way past its expiration date.

Not us.

We'll let those Qool-Aided WSODs avert their eyes when "disgraced (Demoqrat) fund-raiser Norman Hsu... pump(s) $850,000 into (al-Qlinton's) campaign bank account" even as "he also raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for (to bribe) local, state, and federal candidates who have endorsed (Q)linton or whose support (')she(') courted."

Not us.

We'll let those eyes-averting, Qool-Aided WSODs be fooled by BillIAm Lecherouson al-Qlinton's old "lady" when "she" says "her" "hubby"'s "marital" infidelities are the result of some vague childhood trauma he suffered.

Not us.

We'll let those foolable, eyes-averting, Qool-Aided WSODs never question why "she"'s ashamed to take "her" "husband"'s last name, refusing to use it on any of "her" official campaign posters and yard signs and displaying instead only "her" first name like a haughty member of some royal class, just as "she" was ashamed to take his last name all throughout the first six years of their "marriage."

Not us.

We'll let those unquestioning, foolable, eyes-averting, Qool-Aided WSODs wholly ignore how much "she" backed "her" "husband"'s signing into law the Largest. Taxhike. Ever. in American world history; how much "she" "her"self knowingly and intentionally destroyed lives; how much "she" lobbied "her" "husband" to pardon or commute sentences of terrorists, fugitives from justice, and embezzlers clearly in exchange for bribes of money, votes, and power — things always of greatest value personally to the Qlinton Qo-equal Quid-pro-Quo Qrime Qouple — all while singing "Stand By Your Man" as he did the same for death-row killers, drug-cartel kingpins, felons, tax cheats, thieves, etc.; and how much "she" still relies on
fugitives from justice and straw donors for support.

Not us.

Who besides those dangerous, wholly ignorant, unquestioning, foolable, eyes-averting, Qool-Aided WSODs are ever willing to let an extreme liberal like "Mrs." BiIsIs Hideously Rotten al-Qlinton insult their intelligence with "her" infeasible, lukewarmed-over pabulum, or change the Disasterat Party back into nothing more than a servile apparatus solely for the promotion and progress of none but "her" own personal power and selfish ambitions, making it literally an autocracy that further means to beleaguer and cripple every American's life and livelihood with expansion after government expansion — with the raising of armies after standing armies of party-loyal bureaucrats each geared up to man agencies and programs for either regulating us to death or buying us off with universal "free" goodies paid for with other people's taxes confiscated money, or both — until all are totally and forever dependent on it and are thus no longer free?

Clearly no one.

"Her" Nibs is permanently despised by the majority of all voters. In poll after poll after poll after poll a consistently overwhelming number of them not only have a very unfavorable view of this Junior senibsator — rating "her" the most negative and most polarizing of any presidential candidate ever in our history — but are very adamant when they say they will never vote for "her."

That's because "Her" Nibs' eggs-peer-we-ants consists entirely of nothing but bought favors and series after series of miserable failures from which "she" never learns anything. Also, there's no there there. No one has ever earned executive branch or foreign policy qualifications by osmosis or by periodically being in the same room with someone who has.

Being no more than "her" "husband"'s face prop in other countries doesn't count, since "Her" Propness's signature appears on no official or formal United States diplomatic instrument, memorandum, or similar document of any real consequence.

Being nepotistically assigned Unofficial Czarina™ of the executive branch's most miserable failure in the last fifteen years — the still-Sooper Seekrit Health Care Reform Confiscation Task Force (with emphasis on "force") — doesn't count, either, since "her" "husband" BiIsIs is taking all the credit himself for that entire domestic-policy fiasco.

The first impression, second, third, and every one that follows which BiIsIs al-Qlinton's old "lady" makes on most people, whether they "know" the Junior senator or not, necessitate full-blown Charm Offensives® and other such "Human"ize "Her" silliness unprecedented in nationwide political campaigns both past and present, because each of those impressions was, is, and always will be, at best, an extremely negative one. Most pointedly so on political insiders who know more about "her" than "she"'d ever care to admit. Just to quote only some of those impressions' Greatest Greasiest Hits: "brusque manner (that) irritates millions"... "too strident and shrill"... "more Nixon than Reagan or Bush: paranoid and too devious for (')her(') own good"... "cold, distant, and aloof presence"... "too much of a polarizing figure" (Can you say Mega Gridlock™?)... "doesn't have executive abilities"... "lacks executive experience" and "was not the decision-maker (during BiIsIs's maladministration)"... "queen of the Blue States, unable to reach beyond them" (Can you say Redless Rotham™?)... "political judgment is shaky" and "doesn't truly understand housewives"... "(Q)linton fatigue and lack of policy experience, but the legacy of Hill[i]ary care trumps them all"... "mean, enabling, and in denial"... "too much of an established and polarizing personality"... "as Ted Kennedy was from 1972 to 1988 — the presumptive nominee carrying the biggest negatives"... "unlikable" and "shrill"... like John Qerry, another "Northeastern, elite intellectual" (Can you say NElitist™?). Did we mention enough that Willy Qlintongue's old "lady" sHrillackery comes across as both "shrill" and "lacking"?

We know BJ al-Qlinton's old "lady" can't get anything right: e.g., Hilliary Qare Task Fiasco, 1993. We know "she" doesn't fight for Teh Children®: e.g., "her" Chosen One™ for attorney general Janut Reno's reckless endangerment and killing of 17 children at Waco, 1993, as well as throwing one child to the wolves of Fangdel Qastro's predatory dictatorship. We know "she" really couldn't care less about terrorist threats (i.e., when there aren't any cameras around "her"): e.g., no visit to the first World Trade Center's ground zero, 1993, and no "face" time or "working for change" after al-Qaeda viciously and murderously attacked our Servicemen stationed in Saudi Arabia, 1995-1996, or our overseas embassies or our Sailors aboard the USS COLE, 1998-2000, or after any of its terrorist-in-chief's numerous escapes, 1993-2000 (i.e., throughout Teh Qlintons' Qo-presidency). We know "she"'s an influential incompetent, ineffective, and unethical trial lawyer: e.g., "she" needed Vince Foster to assist "her" terrified self in the courtroom, and "she" needed James Blair to net "her" taxcheating self an unreported windfall profit of $6,500. We know "she"'s always been way too shady, "greasier than Preperation H": e.g., not "making a difference" when "her" brothers sold Qo-presidential Pardons to drug dealers, or when "her" Qo-presidency pardoned fugitive tax cheat Marc Rich or offered clemecy to murderous FALN terrorist bombers or crassly used "our" White House as a campaign-fundraiser tool or assisted the funneling of illegal contributions from the Communist Party of Red China to the Democommunist Party of the United States. We know "she"'s a miserable failure as a Junior senator too: e.g., out of all the bills passed by the Senate during "her" long, seven-year "career" there, including those for which "she"'s falsely claiming credit, not one piece of major legislation bears "her" name. We know "she"'s secretive, always having much to hide: e.g., not one piece of self-incriminating evidence paper locked up inside the vaults of the Qlinton Qo-presidential "Library" will see the first light of day before 2009 (How Convenient™). We know "she" effectively condones marital infidelity among big-shot Democheats: e.g., "she" thinks feels "there's more to someone's honor and integrity, and to their public service" than their honoring the most solemn promises made to people they know the most, or having any real integrity with those people where it most counts. We know "she"'d sell what passes for "her" soul to the highest foreign bidder: e.g., "her" Qo-presidential "Library" Lockbox has already received donations totaling more than $17 million from "foreign sources." We know "she"'s a crook: e.g., "her" Senate financial disclosure reports repeatedly failed to list multimillion-dollar "charity" write-offs. We know "she"'s a phony: e.g., no presidential-primary candidate in our nation's history, other than "her," has ever needed to be "humanized," which shows why a vast majority of voters, when asked which candidate "best understands the problems of people like you," say it isn't "her." We know "she"'s a perpetual liar: e.g., "her" lying lies about Gennifer and Monica... Travelgate... Cattle futures... Removal of Vince Foster documents... Castle Grande... Billing records.... We know "she" doesn't trust the people (and vice versa): e.g., regarding "her" Today Health Care 1/7th the Economy, Tomorrow the Whole of It! plan (translated from the original German), "she" feels that trusting any of our states to do the right thing "is unworkable. Can you imagine 50 state bureaucracies, the billions of dollars wasted on redundancy?" (as opposed to the unimaginable trillions wasted on that and more at the federal national socialist level?). We know "she" wants to be the Biggest. Thief. Ever.: e.g., "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good".... "I want to take those profits." We know "she" flagrantly violates the public trust, abuses "her" power, and tries to increase our government's budget deficit for strictly personal gain: e.g., "her" million-dollar heist that would take our taxed moneys and transfer them, by way of legislative earmarks pork bribes' payback-bacon, to rich friends who offer "her" campaign the largest bundle of illegal straw donations ever. We know "she"'s not a straight talker but a mealy-mouthed weasel: e.g., instead of any forceful, up-front "No, I did not commit that crime" it's always a trial-lawyerish, speaking out of both sides of the mouthish, read the fine printish "I do not feel you can find any evidence showing whether I knowingly and intentionally committed that crime," and instead of "I didn't hire Craig Livingstone to unlawfully snoop through confidential FBI files in search of any dirt on my opponents" it's either "I don't recall" (#147 of 250) or "I haven't been formally indicted for that." We know "she"'s completely and irrevocably corrupt: e.g., The Final Days: The Last, Desperate Abuses of Power by the Clinton White House. We know "she" often stoops to threats to get "her" way: e.g., Qlinton Qamp bullying GQ to kill a story about "infighting within the particularly tightly-closed" Qadre of Qlinton Qonfidantes, written by Josh Green, whose article last year in Atlantic Monthly "found (')her(') to be a calculating non-crusader full of little ideas and more determined to rehabilitate (')her(') political image than accomplish any big feats for New York." We know "she"'s a dangerous extremist who'll cross every line and stop at nothing, including eavesdropping, to literally destroy all "her" opponents and whoever else stands in "her" way, and won't rest until "she" has: e.g., when "she" sicced "her" ruthless private investigator Jack Palladino on "her" "husband"'s long-time First Mistress Gennifer Flowers, "Her" Nibs ordered him to "impeach Flowers' character and veracity until she is destroyed beyond all recognition." We know "she" constantly tries to ram "her" Experience By Association belief system fairy tale down all our throats while hypocritically shunning its unavoidable Guilt By Association corollary that's much more evincible when it comes to any of "her" "husband"'s numerous offenses: e.g., to quote the New York Slimes,

But during [BiIsIs Qlinton's] two terms in the White House, [his old "lady" Hilliary] did not hold a security clearance. She did not attend National Security Council meetings. She was not given a copy of the president's daily intelligence briefing. She did not assert herself on the crises in Somalia, Haiti and Rwanda.

And during one of [BiIsIs's] major tests on terrorism, whether to bomb Afghanistan and Sudan in 1998, ["Her" Nibs] was barely speaking to her husband, let alone advising him, as the Lewinsky scandal sizzled.

We know "she"'s as appealing as a used Made-Lead-painted-in-China Qlinton Qondom®: e.g., "Liberals are sizing up Hillary Clinton for the umpteenth time, and they don't like what they see.... Reporters regularly assume (')her(') motives are opportunistic rather than sincere." We know "she"'s a treasonous aider and comforter of our enemies in time of war: e.g.,

Hilliary & MoveOn.own"her," like al-Qaeda, call our top general in Iraq a liar and a traitor: "Her" Grimness, while grilling David H. Petraeus — commanding general Multi-National Force - Iraq, highly decorated combat officer, wounded in the line of duty, top graduate of U.S. Army Command and General Staff College, MPA and Ph.D. in international relations earned from Princeton University's Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs — said,

I think [sic] that the reports that you provide to us really require the willing suspension of disbelief. In any of the metrics that have been referenced in your many hours of testimony, any fair reading of the advantages and disadvantages accruing post-surge, in my [MoveOn bought and paid for] view end up on the downside.... I give you tremendous credit for presenting a positive view of a rather grim reality [sic!].

and "Her" Ownedness, when asked to support a Senate resolution condemning MoveOn.traitor's "General Betray Us" full-page ad barrage of enemy propaganda — which ran in (where else?) The New York Slimes after receiving (what else?) the special Treason Discount® ratesaid,


In other words, we know "she" never does anything but finger-point and blame others for everything, especially "her" own messes and miserable failures, and cover up and lie about "her" misdeeds, misconduct, and malefactions, and stick "her" finger talon in the air as well as focus-group and massage "her" latest mixed message until it matches whatever the latest QNN push poll is saying, then say and do whatever "she" feels you want to hear and see as "she" promises you the moon, the stars, "free" health care, and every other unattainable pie in the sky and prestidigitational illusion all rolled up for "her" magical mystery trope waiting to take your money and freedom away and "her" to power.

We know B. Jobberson al-Qlinton's old "lady" much too well. Far more about "her" than we could ever wish to; and enough to know that we wish we never did.

We no longer want to know "her" nor anything more about "her" anymore.

We only want "her" to go away now so America can have a decent and serious presidential election in these sobering and perilous times. BJ Qlinton's old "lady" represents only old directions and old ideas.

You're gonna find out one day
(You can't hide)
There is no hiding place
(You can't hide)
Run, run, run but you
Can't hide from love [truth]
– Jerry Butler, 1962

Fortunately for America, al-Gore invented the Internets™. And we have it at our disposal to make sure that "Her" N00bs does go away forever.

When, in the course of humanity's Information Age, you try to run a rigidly scripted, repressive campaign, even with a DemoqratTeam Media much in the tank for you, your ability to somehow shape, let alone anywise control public perception of that campaign so it doesn't clobber you, is difficult under the best of conditions. Impossibly so when, in addition, you're always dragging right behind you some very large, heavy baggage filled to capacity with a long, target-rich menu of unethical acts and criminalness, each readily verifiable by, thanks to al-Gore, a few simple mouse clicks. ("Unindicted criminal co-conspirator" just doesn't have the sort of nice, warm-and-fuzzy ring to it most candidates like.) Given even half these things in a presidential campaign, nothing short of pre-primary concession speeches delivered en masse by all the other candidates could stave off your drubbing at the ballot box. Given their total presence in the campaign of WhoreIAm JabberIsIson al-Qlinton's old "lady," not even such concessions could lessen any of "hers." Voters would rather write in one of the names of any of the 99 out of 100 state penitentiary inmates who each come across as eminently more law-abiding and trustworthy.

Moreover, in the course of human events, the only times two members of the same immediate family ever ran for America's highest office and won occurred when President John Adams' son John Quincy Adams and President George Herbert Walker Bush's son George Walker Bush were elected. The first father and son's terms were separated by those of three twice-elected presidents, the second by one. After the Adams' terms, none of the three former presidents' First Ladies — Martha Jefferson Randolph (daughter), Dolley Madison, and Elizabeth Kortright Monroe, each truly stronger and more capable as such than BiIsIsy J**kofferson al-Qlinton's old "lady," and each with much better claims of presidential qualifications to lay, by virtue of having been such, than "her" — ran for that office. Nothing in our constitution would've forbidden any of these natural born citizens over the age of 35 years and 14 years a U.S. resident, from doing so. In the cases of Mmes. Madison and Monroe, perhaps they believed (unlike "Her" Nibs) the idea of any current president and former one being married to each other constitutes a much too anti-democratic arrangement, and thus a most unhealthy one, for our republican form of government.

Of course no such consideration would enter the "mind" of anyone who's dedicated to dispensing edicts from on high Mount O'larcenous to us peasantry (as well as a million of our hard-earned, taxed dollars to build an entire museum for 1960s Hippytopia paraphernalia), or with and about whom everything's forced and nothing's natural, or who's brought new meaning to the words "plant manager."

Speaking of plants and the planting planter who planted them: We're going to form a qlub, the quriously qalled Qurrent Qrop of Qlinton Qampaign Qomfort Question Quizzers. Qatchy name, huh?

We already have Muriel Gallo-Chasanoff, Geoffrey Mitchell, Keith Kerr, LaShannon Spencer, Rosalie Bentzinger, and many dozens more all pre-arranged to join. Our motto? Why, that was given to us on a pre-written index card, too: "This is not standard policy and will not be repeated again." No, wait. (Wrong card.) It's...

People with unplanted ones still are, apparently.

And the planted ones BiIsIs Qlinton's old "lady" doesn't know anything about because "she" doesn't know how to control "her" own campaign or what anyone "she" hires does. Okay.

Whether "Her" Nibs claims to know or not, "she"'s lying.

Either "she"'s responsible for "her" campaign's multiple proven acts of dishonesty — in which case "her" claim that "she"'s not responsible for them is a complete lie. Or "she"'s responsible for miserably failing to prevent "her" campaign's multiple proven acts of dishonesty — in which case "her" claim that "she"'s an egg-speary-rants "leader" ready to "take charge" is another factually false lie.

Deception and negligence. That's the motto and hallmark of both "her" campaign and "her" entire living history.

So it's not surprising "her" campaign's Official Binder of Pre-Typed Questions™ didn't include this page:

[ hardworking taxpayer ] Americans want smaller government and much lower tax burden.

How is any of your "million ideas" going to shrink government or decrease our taxes?

[ expectant mother ] Americans overwhelmingly oppose any sort of elective partial-birth abortion.

How come you favor protecting that hideous practice?

[ concerned citizen ] Americans were told that you've returned the millions and millions of dollars in illegal donations your campaign has received.

How much of those illegal contributions have you actually returned, and where are the receipts proving when and to whom you've returned them?

Many members of our Qurrent Qrop of Qlinton Qampaign Qomfort Question Quizzers Qlub thought those should've been the ones asked. But did "Her" Nibs ever once allow us to? Sadly, no.

Such is the "woman" to whom Democogs in the Qlinton Machine® and other liberal pawns under its bossist thumb, despite how much they profess the highest demand for truthfulness and accountability, are lending their support. This woefully inexperienced and unqualified "woman" who stands for nothing but making any and all means — however unseemly, reckless, dirty, underhanded, and thuggish — justified by that one end exclusively all-important to "her": Grabbing as much power as "she" can possibly swindle from us, if not more, and personally holding it and lording it over us as long as "she"'s able to fool us into letting "her" do so, if not longer, entirely for just "her" own selfish use, purposes, and benefit. Some core value, that.

Are there any true Democrats left in America who find such support disgustingly hypocritical if not downright subservient?

Does any American citizen really want to ever see a married couple consisting of two U.S. presidents and two first spouses? a Mr. & Mrs. President? and the possibility of double-first daughter Chelsea, after she turns 35 in 2015, running to succeed her "mom"? thus creating the Mother of All Dynasties™?

That's way too much and too close a concentration of power for and within any one family.

That's not a change for America. Not while there's "forty percent of Americans (who) have never lived when there wasn't a Bush or a (Q)linton in the White House," with BiIsIs's old "lady" threatening "to tack another four or eight '(Q)linton' years on to the Bush-(Q)linton-Bush presidential pattern that already has held sway for two decades." Not while "a nation of 303 million people really have only two families qualified to run the show."

We're much better that that. It's time for America to break the heavy chains of such fatiguing dynasties before they forge even one more link. Before they bind us permanently.

Haven't Americans had more than their fill, had to tolerate more than their fair share, of Bushes and al-Qlintons?

It's time for us and our great nation to turn the page and move on.

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Ding Dong


the qackler's old qampaign is dead

Worst. Cartoon. Ever.(TM)

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Find what's missing in this picture:


Oh, my, it's missing in this one too:

Need a hint?

OK, it's also missing on all "her" IDs between October 11, 1975, and the start of this man's (standing just behind the one in front) 1982 Arkansas gubernatorial campaign:

"Ohh Nooooz!1!! Noh hntz!!!ONE!":

It's a word.

That word is a name.

It's a name found nowhere (except in smallest print) on any of "her" official bumper stickers, yard signs, etc.

And that name is...

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Letter from Santa


Giving all liberals a piece of his mind—


ear Naughty Person,

The lump of coal in your stocking was put there not because I'm a big, fat, insensitive, anti-multicultural (insofar as I hire only elves), racist (insofar as I hire only elves), union-busting (insofar as I hire only non-union elves) shill for Big Coal® trying to brainwash you so you won't even consider reducing your carbon footprint.

No, that coal is just a poor symbol of the lump of flesh I see beating in your chest which you have the unmitigated gall to call a heart.

I say poor because not even coal could ever adequately symbolize such an unnaturally hard, dark deposit of fossilized plant material through which pumps the ice-congested bile that passes for blood inside your veins (most noticeably those blue ones that pop out so precipitously at the sides of your head and neck the very moment you see standing within eyeshot of the tiniest Public Space® a Dreaded Manger Scene™, immediately and invariably followed by your pouting on and on about the nation's imminent "Theocracy!").

Now before you start crying, "Where's your evidence, Santa?" — just remember: I know when you are sleeping. I know when you're awake. Do you really think feel it would be that hard for me to know, also, that you've been very, very bad? For goodness' sake! Even my reindeer have brains enough to figure that one out. And I wouldn't have to crack my whip across their hindquarters like I usually do to make them do it.

(Hey, finish this letter first before making those calls to PETA! Any more rudeness from you and you'll be bucking for two lumps of coal next year. So you better watch out.)

What did you just mumble? You say I couldn't know how bad you've been unless I've engaged in some evil conspiracy to illegally wiretap all your phone calls?

Guess who's about to go on my Double Soopur Seekrit List that I only have to check once.

Which reminds me: "Ha, ha, ha." There's no way in Girl and Boy Land any weaselly political-correctness busybody is ever going to make this Jolly Ol' Saint Nick sound like some Spineless Ol' Jellyfish. You can take away my "ho, ho, ho's" when you pry them from my cold, dead lips!

That offends your blue state sensibilities? Well, rudy toot toot and rummy tum tums. I'd wrap up a little tabbed violin for you to play that on but the only leftover instruments I've got inside this year's bag are a little tin horn and a little toy drum. You and that other busybody could use them to start a jazz duo.

Besides, blue is much too sad a color for anyone's state.

Why do you think feel I wear this red suit?

But back to your lump of coal:

By now you're probably thinking feeling I must have dynamited it out of one of my many, many strip mines close to the North Pole. (You feel I shouldn't even have one coal strip mine? Try telling that to any of the polar bears my elves have subcontracted to work around the clock in them just to meet the demand. At the prevailing wage of one fish per ton they're literally rolling in seafood, given how many of you naughty persons are out there in need of lump after lump after lump of coal.)

Speaking of food, my biggest market for this year's lumps of coal is that Isle of Misfit Nannies. I've gotten so many letters from them asking not for any little toy dolls that cuddle and coo, elephants, boats and kiddie cars too, but for me to lose a lot of weight. "Santa, oh Santa," one indoctrinatee writes, "please don't let your old arteries get all clogged up with all that sugar from those candy canes you keep enjesting (must be a British spelling)."

My second biggest market for coal is on the Idiotarian Peninsula, where many a gummit-skewl edumacator has so thought-policed their students captive audiences the latter are now telling pollsters they feel not only that I, Father Christmas, am "too fat" but that I have to putter around the world on a murdercycle!

It's obvious not one of you naughty persons has thought felt out any of this at all.

Have you ever seen the belly of someone with washboard abs shake like anything more than a thick steel girder when he laughs, much less like a bowlful of jelly?

Are you seriously proposing I exchange my eight reindeer for an eight-cylinder 4x4, and Rudolph for a pair of headlights? What do I do, shout out to each of my spark plugs, "Fire, Dasher! fire, Dancer! fire, Prancer and Vixen! Boost, Comet! boost, Cupid! boost, Donder and Blitzen!"?

Clearly you don't want someone like me. You want a thin, granola-munching, Gaia-worshiping, PC-talking Prius owner to provide nothing but unconditional public handouts to the poor (no matter how naughty) and a stern lecture about Shameful Greed™ to the rich (no matter how nice). In other words, someone who's exactly the same as all of you.

So much for encouraging diversity. There's more of it amongst my elves.

Next you'll be wanting no children having a jubilee, or building the first toyland town all around any Christmas tree.

Well, you know what? Just forget about the lump of coal. I'm not even going to give you that.

Your empty stocking is a much better symbol of that joyless samefulness you can't stand anyone not being confined to.

It and the letter you're reading now are really the only things someone as naughty as you deserves this and every other Christmas, not to mention all the days in between.

Disappointedly yours,

Santa Claus

P.S. If you caught a glimpse of me coming to town or down the chimney, don't bother filing a frivolous, harassing lawsuit. I don't accept certified/return receipt letters; nor will you find any process servers planning to make a trip anywhere inside the Arctic Circle before the statute of limitations runs out.

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