Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.



...or Go P for Principles.


epublicans by and large are, if not indeed then at least in temperament, businessmen and women. Our party leaders, however, have long ceased behaving and thinking like risk-taking executives. Today they're more like CorpCrap™ sycophants than CEOs.

So what's to be done? Even if the current "leaders" were suddenly all inclined to listen for a change to our answers and even act on them, it's likely too late now for that increasingly abandoned approach to do the party any of the world of good it otherwise very much could. Hopefully I'm wrong. So on the off chance it isn't too late and principles still somehow matter to them, I'm going to dust off my free-advice dispenser and give their depleted uranium-lined skulls this one last shot:

If I were our Republican President, I would—

  1. Remove from the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) the meager 2,000 acres of stark, featureless, very non-pristine and inhospitable Coastal Plain wilderness that contains an estimated super field of 3.5 billion barrels of oil, and start a national-emergency drilling program that will extract the first of this oil in less than a year.

    Principle: Chasing after pie in the sky energy "alternatives" in a way that crowds out and curtails much needed expansion of present, proven methods of energy production is suicidal for a nation at war.

  2. Build in less than a year double-layer border fencing from San Diego to Brownsville under a necessary and proper invocation of national emergency or war powers, as well as current border security statutes.

    Principle: Our nation's borders will be respected. Period.

  3. Hire state-licensed bounty hunters to find and capture anyone who has unlawfully entered our country.

    Principle: Punishing, without exception, anyone who violates our immigration laws is much more important in time of war than appeasing anyone who wants our very own government to pardon or ignore such violations.

  4. Arrest the owners or top officers of any business that hires illegal aliens, on the charge of aiding and abetting the latter's unlawful presence in our country.

    Principle: If you're in the business of encouraging illegal aliens to cross our borders so you can exploit them once they're here, then law enforcement's going to put you out of business.

  5. Issue an ultimatum to Iran: You have no justification whatsoever, with all your oil, to develop anything nuclear, especially when you're officially a state sponsor of terrorism. That is a direct threat to every nation's security. Therefore you will, within six months, permanently and verifiably dismantle your entire nuclear development program or we'll do it for you.

    Principle: In a World War, we will not tolerate anything that could be readily used to arm, strengthen, or supply the enemy.

  6. Officially declare "Global Warming," Inc. a pernicious hoax.

    Principle: Consensus is not science. We will not proceed to wreck or weaken our nation's or the global economy, especially while we're fighting a World War against even more clearly and presently dangerous fanatics, without solid, replicable proof that The End™ is even half as near as the sanctimonious, fanatical fear mongers who're greedily perpetrating or perpetuating this hoax claim.

  7. Immediately go into Pakistan's western lawless region and destroy the enemy.

    Principle: The enemy will receive no sanctuary from anyone anywhere, anytime, anymore.

The above I believe would do much to get Republicans back in good standing with American voters — to restore the Grand Old Party to one based on actual, worthy principles, not worthless, futile pandering; on strength, not weakness. But only if its current crop of alleged leaders start disregarding whatever the DeMSMoqrats and their highhanded hired hands, the pollshyster propagandists, each of whom now and will always slight and despise our party regardless what we do, say about any of us.

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