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Mqpubliqain Party


Er... I mean, Re-pwnd-u-again Party.

Sen. MqQain taps allies for key GOP posts


isspelling corrected — You're welcome, The Hill.)

Sen. Juan MqQain (D-AZtlán) has appointed some of his allies fellow Enemies of American Freedom® to key GO[-RI]P positions affiliated with the Republiqrat National Committee (RiNoCrats).

(Imprecise description replaced as well — You're welcome, again.)

The Republican't operatives will work at the coordinated campaign arm that serves as a liaison between MqQain's camp and the RiNoCrats. The appointments are expected to be announced on Friday.

A Republidiotarian source familiar with the personnel moves told The Hill that MqQain has tapped Carly Fiorina to be his so-called Victory chairwoman. Fiorina is a former fired top executive at Hewlitt-Packard.

The same multi-Señora Cara Carleton Fiorina who declared that America's Manifest Destiny — the immensely popular movement that drove normal citizens to first believe in then achieve great things for themselves and their nation — was "completely wrong."

"The worst idea in American history is the belief that we were destined to become what we have become," she claims.

That's the American Spirit!

Lewis Eisenberg, a national finance co-chairman for MqQain and a former resigned-in-disgrace partner at Goldman-Sachs, will serve as finance chairman.

Eisenberg was chairman of the Board of Commissioners of the Port Authority during the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City and was there for the initial recovery efforts, according to a MqQain statement announcing Eisenberg's appointment in December 2006.

He was also a fundraising "Ranger" for President George W. Bush and a co-chairman of the 2004 Republican convention in New York City.

The same pro-abortion philanthropist philanderer Lewis Eisenberg who made "contributions to Demoqrats such as Walter Mondale."

MqQan you say Party Loyalty? Of course you qan't, Kathy Abraham.

Frank Donatelli, a longtime Republican operative and a contributor to The Hill's Pundits Blog, will serve as deputy chairman.

The same revolving-door lobbyist extraordinaire Frank Donatelli whose bosses at Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld — & Demoqrat Rep. Vic Fazio, too, by the way — also hired former Demoqrat Speaker of the House Thomas S. Foley and former al-Qlinton maladministration trade representative Rufus Yerxa, and whose bosses at McGuireWoods Consulting LLC also hired former Demoqrat Rep. L.F. Payne and Demoqrat Sen. Russell Feingold's legislative director Tom Walls.

Now that's Keeping Money Out Of Politics®!

The Repwn3duqrat source emphasized that these moves are "entirely consistent" with what every nominee does, and no one is losing his or her job as a part of the normal realignment.

Mike Duncan, chairman of the RiNoCrats, will stay in his current position, according to the source.

It's also entirely consistent with Señor Señior Señátor MqMéxiqain's phoniness and his propensity to stab conservatives in the back. (What's that behind you, Mr. Duncan! — ha ha, made you look.)

But, of course, "Everybody Does It... Let's MoveOn™." What do we pissants know?

Carly Fiorana, who nearly sunk Hewlett Packard
Charlie Black, a symbol of Washington insider flacks
Juan Hernandez, the representative of the presidente del Mexico
William Kristol, who thinks illegal immigration opponents are yahoos and morons,
Brent Scofcroft, who says Bush was wrong going to Iraq,
Rick Davis, campaign manager, who tells the conservative base to go to hell, you're not needed.
Mark McKinnon, former Democrat who "won't fight [the Dalai] Obama"
etc., etc.

Not only is M[qQ]ain stiffing the faithful, he has recruited a bunch of inside-the-Beltway hacks totally out of touch with the world and more at home with liberal Democrat party-goers.

It's official. The Republican Party no longer is nor ever wants to even pretend to be of, by, or for conservatives.

It's the MqQainoqratic Party now; and the only thing it needs from any conservachumps is that enough of them allow themselves to be hornswoggled into blindly backing its Demoqrat nominee.

But as the Duke would say, that'll be the day.

Dump MqQain

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