Liberal Utopia: The Write In John Ashcroft Campaign

Thursday, March 06, 2008

...starts right here, right now.

ational borders in name only as well as amnesty for lawbreaking "immigrants"; taxpayers funding fruitless, aborted-baby "medical" experiments; professional politicians' careers more important than our First Amendment, their demagoguery more important than our Second, their power and greed more than our Ninth; "our" government converting en masse to al-Gore's apocryphal and apocalyptic Church of Climoonbat Changists^®; mortgaging our country's economic future to the largest communist dictatorship on earth; billions and billions of ready barrels of vital oil in our own soil untapped and useless; appeasing every enemy, both foreign and domestic; no swift, total victory in this World War; new era of Big Government; postponing the permanent defeat of loony liberalism.

All enemies of American liberty.

The sole consolation is that President Obama won't turn out as effective a one as either Hillosery or Juan Snidely MqQan't III could with that title. The more cursed with ineptness the Obama Administration shows itself to be, the more blessings of liberty we'll see surviving it reasonably intact.

A bonus consolation would be that ol' Juanny decides to resign from the Senate so he can run full time.

I won't say these are the times that try men's souls. We aren't running around New Jersey in the dead of winter being chased by — and sometimes chasing — an army of Red Coats. Although the ones stately attired in red today may be feeling about as blue as our patriot forefathers who were. We may yet, the Lord willing, get an eleventh-hour chance to earn our own Trenton.

Meanwhile, we here in the Utopia return to our regularly scheduled endorsement of John David Ashcroft for president.

But not before writing...

A Liberal Utopia Billet-Doux

Dear All Those Who Kept Telling Us How MqQain Is The Only One Ahead Of Obama And Hillosery In The Polls,

First of all, congratulations. You got your ~~boy~~ old, old man.

Now is probably not the right time to splash you with a bucket full of MSM-brand cold, cold water. But...

ABC, feeling free to realese the Real Polls™ now that Governor Huckabee no longer poses any sort of threat to your beloved septuagenarian's nomination, has released this jagged, icy, hard one:

"POLL: Obama and [al-Q]linton's [Old ‘Lady’] Lead M[qQ]ain...

"Obama's advantage over M[qQ]ain is the bigger one in this ABC News/Washington Post poll, a 12-point lead compared to [al-Q]linton's [old ‘lady’'s] 6-point edge. M[qQ]ain's endorsement by George W. Bush may not help: The president's back at his career low approval rating, matching Harry Truman in long-term unpopularity."

Ouch. "He who lives by the polls...."

But this but has a but:

"But M[qQ]ain is losing three in 10 conservatives to either Obama or [al-Q]linton['s old ‘lady’ — both of whom he calls 'people of good character, honesty, integrity,' by the way], far more than he likely could stand to see slip away."

Does ABC mean to imply that just because someone repeatedly berated us while stabbing us repeatedly in the back, we conservatives can't be forced to happily forget our still-gaping wounds and his still very, very unconservative serrated knives still sticking out from all our backs, and therefore won't — so long as pigs remain unable to get their pilot's licenses, Hell continues to make Gorebull Waaalarming^® look like a night on Pluto, and manufacturers of nose plugs refuse to make any thrice the size of that former planet — "unite" behind El Backstabbo?

Now why would the folks at ABC ever ~~think~~ feel that? Haven't they heard the polls-live-byers tell us over and over and over again that ~~MqQain votes more like a Demoqrat than many, many Demoqrats do?~~ a Demoqrat is Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, ..., Much, Much Worse Than ~~MqQyoto~~ ~~MqQloseGitmo~~ ~~MqQad~~ ~~MqQlimateChump~~ ~~MqGay"Marriage"OK~~ ~~MqProDeathTax~~ ~~MqProIllegalAliens~~ ~~MqQonSelf-Servative~~ ~~MqQorruption~~ MqQain™? Apparently not. ABC probably never heard of Warren Harding either.