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Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

Stimulate This!

 

Namely, Liberal Utopia.


I

n order to qualify for some of the pork-barrel bribes, payoffs, and vote-buying "free" rides stimulus money being wasted on distributed to special-interest lobbyist pals and cronies of Democrooks "distressed" extremely unprofitable, grossly mismanaged enterprises that Deserve To Fail™ economic market thingys, we have incorporated Liberal Utopia as a 501(3)(z) ought-to-profit organization and declared it a Full-Fledged Victim™ of this nominal recession Teh Worst Economic Catastrophe Since Teh Democrat Demosocialist President Roosevelt's Great Depression®.

Naturally this will enable us to receive more than a few billions here and there in the form of grants, credits, and other freebies tucked deep within Former Senator Øfascist's 1000-page miserably failing colossus stimulus bill; Provided we show the Democrooked Party operatives compassionate and understanding bureaucrats in America's Deadest. Weight. Evah. the federal government why we are selfish, greedy slobs wanting to sponge off the taxpayers so we don't ever have to, uh, hmm, ... I forget the word — wait, I'll have to look it up... hang on.... oh! here it is: "work" entitled to waste and abuse receive your their money.

This is in addition to the earmarked graft needed spending specifically on the Liberal Utopia Personal Economic Stimulus Program™ which Peloseri, "Pork-Rail" Reid & Accomplices, Inc[rooks]. snuck in in the dead of night is provided under Title III, Subtitle A of the Financial Undermining and Unprecedented Statism Act of 2009 (F.U.USA) American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 (ARRA):

wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

(including transfer of funds to Liberal Utopia for the Liberal Utopia Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

    For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $7,500,000,000 shall be paid directly to Liberal Utopia in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Liberal Utopia to study liberals and analyze all their dementias or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Liberal Utopia will receive free Blow Chunks tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Liberal Utopia shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aforementioned benefits. And one more thing: Naggy Peloseri is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.


(If you want your own special-interest earmark necessary program added to the monstrously immoral theft of all our children's futures spending package, click here. [Human Events])

Already we see a huge slice of wasteful pork portion of spending that Liberal Utopia is entitled to be stimulated by:

DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY
ENERGY PROGRAMS

Science

For an additional amount for ``Science'', $1,600,000,000.
 



We're going to need at least a half-billion of those dollars for our numerous and sundry "science" activities. All in the name of stimulating the economy, mind you. Indeed, we have this one economically-stimulating "science" activity that is going to "scientifically" stimulate the economy of Liberal Utopia so much it will be quite stimulating for everyone involved in that "scientific" activity's economic stimulation of Liberal Utopia.

Next, as a Victim™ also of Google® greedy predatory providers of Internet services, Liberal Utopia is "stuck in a 'whopping' $10 annual renewal-fee schedule on-line subprime mortgage payment we can't afford as a result of skyrocketing registration rates and personal misfortune." So we're entitled to a good portion of the $275 billion freebie-handout bribes funding measure aimed to help buy our votes keep us in our home here. Since Liberal Utopia "played by the rules and acted responsibly," we need and deserve "rescuing."

If there's any more of your their money we find we're going to get our votes bribed with entitled to, we'll say we "Don't Recall™" finding it let you know.

So you productive people out there — and your children, your grandchildren, and even your great-grandchildren — better stop reading this and get back to work so you can pay all the higher taxes your Fair Share™ that your president Øbameinführer® commands you pay — and keep paying and keep paying — so, yes, he can take your money stolen at the point of "your" governme–... er, muggerment's guns and spread it around solely among stimulate freeloading sponges Victims™ like us.

Feeling "fundamentally transformed," yet, Socialist United States of America?

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