Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.



Or, to paraphrase al-Qerry: Big Government socialists going into the homes, schools, and workplaces of Americans in broad daylight, terrorizing kids and children, women, breaking sort of the customs, the historical customs, religious customs, whether you like it or not.


here's a big problem. A really big problem. So big it literally boggles the mind. Not only is it big enough to wipe everyone out, but it's too big to really be solved by anyone.

Anyone, that is, besides the big, kind, friendly, big-hearted Qrisis Qommissars of — you guessed it — Big Government. Because they care — about you, the Little Guy®, and about The Children™ — big time.

But they can't solve this really big problem for you or — if you won't think of yourself — for The Children™, unless you give them all the power they need to create and run a really Big Government. Because there's really nothing else big enough that can really solve such a problem.

That means they're also going to need some really big bucks. Because it's a really big problem. But you're going to give them that, too, because it's for something really much bigger than yourself. Bigger than all the Little Guy®s put together. Bigger, perhaps, than even them. It's all for The Children™.

You aren't against them helping The Children™, are you? Of course you aren't, because you're really much bigger than that.

You wouldn't really want to be like any of those big, mean, selfish types who think of no one but themselves, would you? Of course you wouldn't, because you're really very big into Doing The Right Thing (© Progeral Libressive Inc., 1922).

That means you feel you don't really need to keep all that money and power you still have all to yourself, where it can't really do anyone any good — especially when it would be much better spent and used by expert, professional Qrisis Qommissars who can solve this really big problem before it wipes you and The Children™ all out.

You must think about The Children™.

It's really not your fault that no one at Faux News (© mo'onbat.org, BeatRaps'98-BetrayUs'07) and places like that has ever told you before that this is what Doing The Right Thing (© Progeral Libressive Inc., 1922) really means. That's because the people there are really nothing but a big, negative bunch of Problem Deniers™ who probably all "think" that "god" really exists or the earth really is flat.

So who're you going to believe? The Qrisis Qommissars who only want to help The Children™, or those big, mean, selfish Problem Deniers™ who only want to stop the Qrisis Qommissars from ever helping any of The Children™? That's right, you're going to believe what the Qrisis Qommissars are telling you.

But hurry. The Qrisis Qommissars are telling you that you need to let them do something really big now to solve your and The Children™'s really big problem. It doesn't matter that they're also telling you that you can't really count on big advancements in science and technology which throughout all of human history have, invariably and without fail, taken every previous understanding of how things work and buried each one in the long-cold ashes of man's very first campfire, and from its last tiny spark on that insignificant patch of ground have taken mankind all the way to his most giant leaps on another world's surface. They already feel that they now have all the right answers to all the right questions and all the right cures for what all ails you right now. They're telling you they've got really big plans for you and The Children™. If you're really big into Doing The Right Thing (© Progeral Libressive Inc., 1922), why would you want to delay those plans or otherwise stand in the Qrisis Qommissars' way?

Now you might be saying to yourself that you don't feel any of the big effects of this really big problem yourself right now. That's because you're only one of the Little Guy®s who only sees a little part of it. But the Qrisis Qommissars see the Big Picture of this really big problem that's only going to Get Worse® unless you give them the much bigger Big Government that they want so they can solve the problem before it wipes everyone out. Because they care.

See? Once you look at the big picture, it's all really very simple.

Still, if you don't understand everything about this really big problem like they do, don't worry. Be happy that they're indoctrinating educating a whole New Generation of Little Guy®s in the Big Government Skewls Schools who are all going to have to accept whatever they say there about this really big problem, whether you or The Children™ — or even any of the Underpaid Teachers™ — like it or not.

The only thing you really need to know is that it's all for the bigger greater good. And it's for The Children™. After all, you can't really be expected to ever understand big, complex things like this. You're only a Little Guy® who has to hold down eight jobs just to make your really big mortgage payments. That's because all the really big Tax Cuts For The Rich Who Aren't Paying Their Fair Share™ have left you having to decide whether you get to buy groceries this month and eat a little bit of food or you cancel what little bit of health insurance you've still got for all The Children™ you have while worrying yourself sick about any of them getting afterwards really, really sick.

But that's another al-Qrisisa the Qrisis Qommissars of even bigger Big Government are going to solve for you and The Children™, too. But only if you give them all the power and money they need for themselves that as well. Because they really care big time, and they don't ever want you to have to go it alone. In fact, there's no problem big enough or small enough which the Qrisis Qommissars won't always be there telling you that you have which only they can solve.

That's really very big of them, isn't it?

So what is the problem exactly? Silly, it doesn't matter. The solution to whatever problem the Qrisis Qommissars of Big Government are forever telling you you've got is always the same.

A really big one.

Your denial of global warming and the Kyoto accord are evidence of your crimes.”

You have destroyed nature with your industrial waste and gases more than any other nation in history. Despite this, you refuse to sign the Kyoto agreement so that you can secure the profit of your greedy companies and industries.”
Weather Channel's Climoonbat-in-Chief Heidi al-Qullen
United Nation's Qrisis Qommissar-in-Chief Yvo de Boer
Al-Qaeda's Terrorist-in-Chief Osama bin Laden

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