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Hicklary Sues Republican Presidential Candidates


No, not for slander or defamation...


EW YORK (Associated [with Dictatorats] Press) – Following the partial release of over "a million" of her plans streams of consocialistness[, each completely unaffordable by any country that's not an absolute totalitarian and/or idiotarian state], Hillary Rodham Clinton's HerNibsy Redrum-Retsof al'Qackleton's nose has inexplicably grown so large it's now extremely sensitive to anyone's thinking about her.

That itching was especially excruciating during Sunday night's Republican presidential debate, claims the [junior] senator from New York. So much, in fact, she has decided to file a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against each and every one of its participating candidates for "pain and suffering."

Mrs. Clinton BiIsIs al-Qlinton plans to take all the money she hopes to raise from those lawsuits and use it to "pay for at least my least-expensive idea."

As for the remaining 999,999 "ideas," the [junior] senator plans to just raise [everyone's] taxes. "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good," [Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels, and] she said in [1847, 1888, and] 2004[, respectively].

When reporters at a recent press Fifth Column conference reminded her of this quote, Mrs. Clinton al-Qrookton chastised castrated them for being "stuck in the past" and refusing to "move on.[org]" "I'm out here raising $1,000 and $2,000 maxed-out contributions from the poorest of the poor — dishwashers, waiters, and street stall hawkers — and all you people want to do is try to dig up old dirt [when you have tons and tons of all this new dirt you should get busy burying!]," she explained shrieked.

Another reporter at the same conference[, who obviously didn't care about his winding up less figuratively buried,] asked Mrs. Clinton Hilliary Sodom al'Qaeda-endorsementon about her attendance at, and apparent tacit approval of a speech by Suha Arafat, wife of the late Palestinian terrorist leader, which included accusations the U.S. was helping Israel use toxic gas and "chemical materials" to poison Palestinian women and children's air and water resources. After the speech, then first lady Wicked Witch of the West White House [Sieg] Hillary Heil!ary Clinton al-Qlinton went up to the lectern and kissed Mrs. Arafat. According to Mrs. Clinton BiIsIs's Bettered Half, that embrace "held no more significance than a handshake." She added that the [highly educated and highly paid] official White House translator was "incompetent" and "didn't convey the correct meaning of (Mrs. Arafat's) words." In response to another question about her kiss[ing up to anti-Semites], the [junior] senator told reporters had she known what was "actually being said," she would've been "disgusted" and "most likely" would've "left the stage [quicker than an Arkansas jackrabbit a f***ing Jew b***ard]" in protest.

[Junior] Senator Clinton al-Qorrupton refused to answer any questions about Norman Hsu, Chinatown fundraising, Peter Paul, wartime flip-flops, Chinagate, Travelgate, Filegate, Pardonsgate, the Barrett Report, the Cox Report, the Emir of Dubai, Iranian fundraising, Sant Singh Chatwal, $12,950 in Abramoff-linked cash, cattle futures contracts sweetheart deals, exorcised ghostwriters, then-beekeeper Sir Edmund Hillary, "unofficial" campaign official Sandy Burglar, "bundled" campaign donations, "misplaced" Whitewater billing records, "imaginary" discussions with Eleanor Roosevelt, "factually false" statements under oath, her "husband's" impeachment and disbarments, "Gandhi's" gas station, "plantation" House ["and you knowha'm talkin' about"], pink pantsuits and crude cleavage, her Museum of Sex bust, her affected Southern accent, her being a member of Wal-Mart's Board of Directors for six years, her New World Foundation chairwomanship, her supporting coercing one of our Combat Troops, her internship with "former" Communist Party leader Robert Treuhaft, her flunking the District of Columbia bar examination, or other such matters. documented failings, fanaticisms, and freakishnesses, examples of her phoniness, and evidence showing her complicity in a multitude of high crimes and misdemeanors — e.g.,

Heil!ary Hillary! Uncensored — Banned by the Media (trailer)

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