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2017: New Republican President Suspends Portions of 'Affordable Care' Act


Thanks to Baracrook ØTyrant, there's precedent now for this.


'm doing it for the people," the new Republican president said today in his inaugural address. "Suspending the enforcement of certain provisions of this totally partisan law will help save jobs and lower health insurance premiums for all Americans. My predecessor suspended its provisions many times for the very same reasons, and practically no one in his party or the media said a word. So, yes, I can do it too," the president said.

Former Senate majority leader Harry Reid, who used a parliamentary trick as well as special legislative favors to get the bill passed seven years ago with only Democrats voting in favor of it, stated from his federal prison cell that the new president has no authority to suspend enforcement of any provision of the law. "This is an act of Congress. The new president can't pick and choose which portions of it he wants to enforce or not enforce," he said in the statement released after the president's speech. Mr Reid is serving a 35-year sentence following several corruption and bribery convictions.

Asked if he ever felt the same way when the last president was repeatedly suspending the law's provisions, Mr. Reid claimed the question was racist. "The only reason anyone is bringing up President Obama's past suspensions of those (Obamacare provisions) to justify the new president's suspension of them is because Mr. Obama is a light-skinned African-American who doesn't speak with a Negro dialect unless he wants to have one," he said from a prison phone.

The new Republican administration has suspended major portions of the so-called Affordable Care Act "for at least four years."

During an impromptu news conference, White House press secretary Gander Goosegood IV spoke to reporters about the law's suspension. "The president plans on doing a lot of things you and your colleagues always allowed his predecessor to get away with," he said. According to Mr. Goosegood, those things include not ever releasing his full medical, college, or passport records, not ever enforcing any parts of a law he doesn't want to enforce, not ever being held accountable for negligently leaving diplomats behind to die at the hands of terrorists, not ever reducing spending on his vacations and other perks during any government shutdown or budget sequester, not ever cutting back on the amount of spying the government does on practically all Americans, not ever telling the attorney general to quit naming "unfriendly" reporters as co-conspirators in any leak investigations, not ever disallowing the seizure of reporters' telephone logs, and not ever stopping the IRS from holding up or denying the non-profit applications of his "political enemies."

"None of you so-called investigative journalists seemed too concerned about such things during the last administration," Mr. Goosegood told reporters.

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