Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

'More Information'?


Whole intact bombs are in the Vacationer-in-Chief Øgoof-off's dangerously incompetent, corrupt hands, and he says lies that he needs more information?


he way the terrorists "man-caused disasterists" constructed their bombs. Every bomb component intact and traceable. But, no, Øliar can't "keep us posted" until "the FBI has more information."

What we don't yet know, however, is who carried out this attack or why, whether it was planned and executed by a terrorist organization, foreign or domestic, or was the act of a malevolent individual. That's what we don't yet know.

It's your job to know, Ødumbass. If, as you say, you haven't figured it out with all the information you already have, you're either a criminally willful liar or criminally negligent fool. But to save time we'll just call you criminal.

We know it was bombs that were set off.

Gee, Øgenius. What was your first clue?

We know that obviously they did some severe damage.

Thank you for that outstandingly brilliant deduction, Sherlock. At least you know they're a "they."

We do not know who did them. We don't know whether this is an act of an organization or an individual or individuals.

So which is it? "He" or "they"? Thought you just said lied that it was obvious.

We don't have a sense of motive yet.

Good grief. How clueless can you get? Let me run this by my own gaggle of retarded clowns "counterterrorism team" and see what they come up with...

Uh, their motivation is to kill as many people and do as much damage as Yes They Can™.

See? That wasn't so hard, now was it?

Of course, we're talking about yours here. So no doubt it's a hair shy of being completely impossible for your gaggle team of so-called counterterrorism experts to reach so blatantly obvious a conclusion.

Your alleged team couldn't counter its way out of a wet paper bag. Unfortunately for us and our safety.

Everything else at this point is speculation.

No, it's not. Not with all the evidence that's literally been dropped in your constant vacation-taking lap of luxury.

Saying Lying that it's either "we don't know" or "it's all speculation" won't cut it for the American people at this point.

As we receive more information as the FBI has more information, as our counterterrorism teams have more information, we'll make sure to keep you and the American people posted.

"Don't call us, American people. We'll call you. Maybe. If we feel like it."

More like "if and when we can figure out how to spin this cover our asses so we don't come out of this looking even more stupefyingly clueless, incompetent, and full of crap and lies than we already clearly do."

Good luck with that, Øbonehead.

What a SCOAMF.

Øne Big Awful Mistake, America who'll set up many, many more of us to be blown up by terrorists unless yes we can immediately impeach and convict his blithering, bungling, pompous ass and remove it from office out of collective and self preservation.

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