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Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

Mass Suicide Note

 

by the "Public" "Service" "Careers" of Radicalized "Democrats"


W

e, the Extremists of the Party Formerly Known As "Democratic" (that is, practically every Member thereof), in order to go the way of the dodo bird, establish the fact we're fascists, ensure we're defeated in federal elections, provide clearest examples of irredeemable corruption, promote bribes and backroom deals, and secure the everlasting scorn and contempt of Liberty-loving Americans to ourselves and our cronies, do sign and publish this mass suicide note of our "public" "service" "careers," by our "public" "service" "careers," and for our "public" "service" "careers."

We secretly debated whether to all jump off the nearest cliff together, or to use every dirty, sneaky, and questionably legal trick in the book to forcibly ram down the American people's throats every extremist, radical, personally ambitious greedy power-grab yes we can "think" of to outright steal from them total and complete control over their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. Given the fact we're fascist radical extremists, we thought it'd be more "right" to choose the latter.

So here we go, marching arm and arm literally and figuratively with Nanny-statist Peløseri and our Lord and Master Baracrook Øfascist towards the Capitol, to cast the first in an upcoming series of our bought-off votes in favor of doing just that.

Please refer to our "careers"'s Last Will and Testament on how we wish our morally bankrupt estate to be redistributed and spread around amongst our fellow fascist radical extremists whom we'll be leaving behind to powerlessly wander in a vast marginalized political wilderness decade after decade after decade after our very timely demise.

We angrily hate everything and everyone, including ourselves and all we do. So this extreme course of action should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone, including ourselves. We hope the change our "careers" are soon about to undergo (hint: think Room Temperature™ and the complete, permanent assumption thereof) will finally open the eyes of all Americans. You tried to stop us with your pathetic teabagging pleas for restraint and fiscal responsibility and even full and measured deliberation. As if reading any multithousand-page bill our leaders masters gave us only a few days to look cursorily skim through before the scheduled vote thereon would make any difference at all to us. You sicken and disgust us to no end. In fact, we wish it was you, instead of us, drinking cup after cup after cup of this poisoned Kool-Aid®.

Now it's too late to hope we'll ever change our "minds." No use trying to talk us out of doing this anymore. Don't even try to stop us. With sippy cups in hand, and many of us preferring the barrels of grape flavor rather than the cherry to repeatedly dip them in, we go off blissfully blithely into that Great Beyond™ in the Sky Other Direction from which no one nor any of their words and thoughts lies and feelings is ever heard from ever again.

Bite us,

National Socialist Demøfascist Workers' Party (NSDWP) Members

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