Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

'Self-Executing' Will


Last Will and Testament of Dictatørat Politburo Party Members


e, Dictatørat Politburo Party Members, being of unsound "mind" and corrupt body politic, revoking any and all will of the people, do hereby publish and declare this our Last Will and Testament.

Article I

We hereby name, constitute, and appoint as our Executors and Personal Representatives the Service Employees International Union (SEIU), the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) Union of Progressives Young and Old Urging Reform Sometime (UPYOURS), and George Soros' MoveOn[Never!].org. (Yeah, we know, what a surprise.) They shall have full power to completely dispose of the rotted corpses of our political careers which will be literally littering the landscape after November 2010, to totally direct the affairs of our dishonorable estate (not to be confused with any of John Edwards' affairs), and to make in and on our behalf any and all decisions we would or might have made had we not tried to sneakily and forcibly shove copious amounts of fascist socialist liberal[btrt] crap, including Death Snare Health "Care" and Crush-and-Tax Cap-and-Trade, down the American people's throats.

Article II

After all our always-unjustified expenses are paid (by, of course, cooking the books the same way we did every Federal Budget we ever laid our grubby little hands, as well as sundry unmentionable parts, on):

To our favorite lobbyists and special interests such as Big Trial Lawyers and Big Pharmaceuticals and Big Unions, we leave our "hearts," "minds," bodies, "souls" (sorry, Devil, they had first dibs), and whatever microscopic remnant is left of what used to pass for our "principles."

To former House Speaker Nanny Peloseri's vast personal Botox supply and distribution networks, we leave the ever-ready standby boxes of "misplaced ballots" which we were planning to use to steal the next ten or so close elections. Perhaps they can be pasted on the faces of other self-absorbed megalomaniac liberals with much better results.

To former Senate Majority Leader Harry "The War's Lost" Reid's personal gang of under-the-table Nevada land dealers, we leave enough slung mud to build a second, third, and even fourth Hoover Dam. Should be sufficient to compensate them for losing their share of the High-Speed Rail Kickback™ that said Harry "The War's Lost" Reid had hoped to get out of our earmarks-infested Spendulus Porkage™ Stimulus Package.

To soon-to-be-former Vice President Joe Biden's unsuccessful team of hair-plugs surgeons, we leave Howard "Scream" Dean's very crumpled and stained copy of So You Want To Be A Veterinarian?

To soon-to-be-former President [sic] Barac[roo]k Hussein [zer]O-bama's teleprompter, we leave the set of eighty-five (85) dual-layered DVD discs titled My Most Wonderful Self's Most Wonderful Speeches ("God-Echo" Edition) which the Queen of England returned to him because they were, among other things, in the non-European NTSC format.

To the soon-to-be-former newspapers and other media which thoroughly bankrupted themselves by always being in the tank for us and always insulting their ever dwindling number of readers' intelligence and common sense with their always overly liberal drivel, we leave our most fond first editions of Marx's Das Kapital, Goebbels' Zie Artz und Zcienze ofz Propagandizingz, and Orwell's 1984.

To Osama bin Laden and other top al-Qaeda terrorists, we leave just about every one of the aforementioned Big Trial Lawyers to represent them in courts of law on American soil and to preserve, protect, and defend their "constitutional rights."

To each and every illegal alien to whom we tried to grant total Amnesty and Citizenship so all of them would become a large enough voting bloc for us that we'd no longer have to pander to any more nasty "moderate" voters Undocumented American (© 2007 Harry "The Surge Has Failed" Reid), we leave our largest decks of race cards and our humble apologies.

Last but in nowise least:

To you, the American people, we leave a steeply declining and collapsing economy, a busted government budget for decades to come, an unprecedented twelve trillion six hundred forty-three billion seven hundred one million four hundred two thousand five hundred twenty-nine dollars and fifty-five cents ($12,643,701,402,529.55) and growing of public debt which you, your children, your grandchildren and great-grandchildren will have to spend your whole lives trying to repay, a nuclear weaponized Islamic "Republic" of Iran, a much less secure Israel, an emboldened al-Qaeda, a worthless "Stimulus," pack after pack of our lies and corrupt bribes and kickbacks, ..., and millions and millions and millions of you permanently unemployed — with no hope at all of ever changing any of this. Enjoy!

Article III

We sign our political party membership's name to, and away our political careers with, this instrument this 18th day of March, 2010, and do declare that we sign and execute the same as our Last Will, that we execute it as our leftist-enslaved and special-interest-beholden act for the purposes expressed herein, and that we are and ever shall be extremely of unsound "mind" and under fascist socialist liberalism[btrt]'s corrupting constraint and undoing influence.

  Dictatørat Politburo Party Members

Self-executing Affidavit

We "deem" that the required number of witnesses have affixed their signatures to this instrument. If anyone asks why there aren't, like, you know, actual signatures here, tell them we resorted to the corrupt practice of pretending that they, technically, never really signed their names so that they wouldn't be held accountable and punished for signing on to this charade as they were shredding Slaughtering™ the United States Constitution and undermining, entirely destroying, and otherwise making a mockery of that now completely ignored principle formally known as "the democratic process."

Subscribed and sworn before me this 18th day of March, 2010:

 Lyke Lee Voters
Notary Public

My Commission Expires: Nov. 2, 2010

Labels: , , , , , ,

Bookmark and Share  

Comments (registered users)

Post a Comment

Liberal Utopia

LC Local 666, VRWC
Never Submit

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


Liberal Utopia

Site Feed

Subscribe to Liberal Utopia by Email


March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
September 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
September 2015
November 2015
December 2015
January 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
June 2016
July 2016
August 2016
September 2016
October 2016
November 2016
January 2017
February 2017
March 2017
May 2017
June 2017
July 2017
August 2017
January 2018
February 2018
June 2018
July 2018
October 2018
January 2019
June 2019
July 2019
January 2020
March 2020
April 2020
May 2020
July 2020
August 2020
October 2020
January 2021
February 2021
June 2021
July 2021
August 2021
September 2021
February 2022
July 2022
December 2022
July 2023
July 2024


Gab @LiberalUtopia

Gettr @LiberalUtopia

Parler @LiberalUtopia

TruthSocial @LiberalUtopia

Tw*tter @LiberalUtopia


G o o g l e
b o m b s
miserable failure
culture of corruption
sus barbatus
wicked witch of the east
great president