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'Barney looks like Rambo next to Obama'


That is, Mayberry's Barney Fife. Not the purple and green dinosaur.


omparing His Emptychairness Baracrook Hammer'n'sickle Øbaron von Münchhausen to a bumbling, inept deputy sheriff is completely unfair. Deputy Fife never released extremely dangerous prisoners on purpose, or gave in to the demands of our mortal enemies — let alone swap numerous top-level terrorist savages for a single filthy defector and traitor.

Barney, unlike Barry, takes his oath to defend the public seriously, always doing his best to uphold the law, protect the good citizens he serves, and bring honor to his office. No, nobody can accuse Bernard Milton Fife of refusing to enforce any laws he doesn't like, or of outright and unilaterally altering their provisions for his own personal, political gain, or of ever adhering to America's enemies, giving them aid and comfort.

When the people of his town are threatened, Barn the Lawman rushes out selflessly to confront that threat.

Barry the Incoherent just rushes to the nearest microphone to declare,

But I don't want to put the cart before the horse. We don't have a strategy yet. I think [sic] what I've seen in some of the news reports suggests that folks are getting a little further ahead of where we're at than we currently are.... We need to make sure that we've got clear plans, that we're developing them....

We are going to work politically and diplomatically with folks in the region. And we're going to cobble together the kind of coalition that we need for a long-term strategy as soon as we are able to fit together the military, political and economic components of that strategy.

Before rushing to three political fundraisers and the wedding of one of his media lapdogs, of course.

Deputy Fife never takes as many taxpayer-funded vacations or trips to the golf course as Dictator Øfascist does, either. Also, the most tyrannical thing Barney ever does is tell Floyd the Barber not to loiter in front of his own shop. Bareich Totalitarian Øbrownshirt would scream at him, "You didn't build that!" and demand he pay an even higher "fair share" of taxes before siccing the EPA on him to scrutinize his hair-disposal methods, while ordering the NSA to monitor all his emails, calls, and financial transactions as well as those of each of his customers.

So stop comparing the stuttering, thin-skinned, whiny egomaniac to one of Mayberry's finest.

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