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Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

'How Do We Tax Thee?'

 

Let Demøfascists count the ways.


(W

ith extreme apologies to the Portuguese.)

We tax thee to the depth and breadth and height
Our greed can reach,


Where it doesn't reach, not even the most ethereal poet can more than dimly imagine.

...when feeling you're in sight
For the hikes of Fair Forced shared Sacrifice.


So long as it's everyone else doing the sharing. Not, of course, any of them or their pølitburø's equally selfish and greedy constituents dependents permanently indentured ballot slaves.

We tax thee to the level of playing's
Most lowly field,


On which everyone's equal. (Equally miserable, that is.)

...by backroomed dead-of-night.


Where and when are hatched such glittering gems of vacuous verse as, "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax imposed by this chapter for purposes of determining the amount of any credit under this chapter or for purposes of section 55 [i.e., imposing '(in addition to any other tax imposed by this subtitle) a tax equal to the excess (if any) of the tentative minimum tax for the taxable year, over the regular tax for the taxable year']." All buried in an extremely partisan 176,276-word bill ungainly monstrosity.

We tax thee steeply, as we strive for Might;
We tax thee cruelly, as GDP Decays.


As does the value of your dollar, the prospect of your finding or keeping a job, the hope of your creating a better future for your children, etc., etc.

At the rate Demøfascists are going, there'll soon be little if anything left for them to redistribute.

We tax thee with a feeling quite obtuse
Fueled by our guilts, and with our childish wrath.


Always aimed squarely at whoever may be happier or more successful or self-sufficient than any of them. Which pretty much covers everyone who isn't one of them. Hence those constant displays of envy and anger hate-filled rage for which Demøfascists are known and loathed.

We tax thee with a tax we e'er produce
With our dead brains, —


These are a few of their favorite things to tax: Sugary drinks (except, curiously, Kool-Aid). Fatty foods. Large cars. "Cadillac" health insurance plans. Refusing to buy health insurance. "Added values." Artificial hips. Powered breast pumps. Facelifts. Teh Innernettubes™. Charitable donations. Toilet tissue. 401(k)s. Ammunition. Practicing medicine. Etc. Etc. Etc.

...we'd tax thee for your breath,
Smiles, tears, et al. in life! —


Including but not limited to (if they could): Keyboard clickety-clicks. Underinflated tires. Diaper rashes. Mud pies. Winking. Bald heads. Neckties. Toenail clippings. Night driving. Lawn chairs. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Impure thoughts. Split ends. High heels. Fleas on pets. Paid vacations. Kisses. Easter baskets. Window seats. Starin' at the full moon like a lover. Protest signs. Halloween costumes. Stubbed toes. Sneezes. Wedding anniversaries. Navel lint. Practical jokes. Hairy chests. Dancing. Up the creek without a paddle. Middle names. Needlepoint. Bagels. Pain of psoriasis. Passwords. Insomnia. Suntans. Nursery rhymes. Air quotes. Comma splices. Gooey things. School science projects. Waving. Walking through the park and reminiscing. Horseback riding. Boycotts. Leather chairs. Long talks. Thinking-of-you cards. Stamp collections. Mops. Folk music. Slide rules. Walking-around money. Hogging the remote control. That tune you can't get out of your head. Overdue library books. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc.

The power to tax everything Demøfascists deem "unacceptable" — meaning everything that isn't enabling them to exclusively grab and forever hold absolute power over absolutely everyone — is the power to destroy it. Which is exactly their intention so yes they can build and rule a Liberal Utopia™ Hell™ on top of the rubble.

Much less muss and fuss that way than trying to be, oh, say, true and honest servants of the people.

...and, if Gaia choose,
We shall but tax thee still worse after death.


In addition, they favor the death of anyone they decide is "unwanted," the effective enslavement of everyone else under their tyranny of national-socialist dependency, and their totalitarian control and confiscation of everything the people own.

In other words, Demøfascists are the very antithesis of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

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