Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

Sexist, ageist, racist Obama


B is for Bigot.


dd elitist, too.

Even if you're the most qualified woman for the second-highest position on the Democra(cis)t Party ticket, it's Need-Not-Apply City™ for you. That's for white males only, baby.

Yeah, you've come a long way. Now go sit at the back of the campaign bus where B. "Hold on one second, sweetie" O'bigot feels you belong. And stop complaining about how He never called you.

Fair housing practices? Let's see:

"Does a guy (i.e., B. Hogwash O'boneheaded-move) who made more than $4 million last year, just got back from vacation on a private beach in Hawaii (i.e., wasn't 'public' at all when He was frolicking on it) and bought his own million-dollar mansion with the help of a convicted felon really want to get into a debate about houses?"

Not that Junior Freshman Senator O'Top-1% would know anything about "fair share" either:

Adjusted Gross Income $386,527 $4,139,965
Contributed to Charity27.3%5.8%
Adjusted Gross Income$338,809$983,826
Contributed to Charity28.6%6.1%

Or that He shares anything in common at all with honest working men and women:

"Does a guy (i.e., B. HowrichIam O'big-mansion) who worries about the price of arugula (i.e., 'upscale leafy vegetables' if you're 'bitter') and thinks regular people 'cling' to guns and religion in the face of economic hardship really want to have a debate about who's in touch with regular Americans?"

Now if you're a domestic terrorist, a racist preacher, or a convicted felon, Baracorrupt O'badmouth-America will gladly share a fairly large part of His life with you.

But if you're a highly qualified woman who even thinks about running for our second-highest office, He'll immediately pounce on you and tell all His bigoted, self-hating pals to call you "dangerous." (What. Does He feel you have "claws" or been "periodically [get it?] feeling down"?)

No wonder John "Who's Your Daddy?" Edwards endorsed Him. Or that B. Hateswomen O'sexist would describe this "man" who, it turns out, had been cheating on his cancer-stricken wife as "something special":

I (i.e., B. cHauvinism O'biden) decided that I would try to give you something special. I decided that on my first full day of campaigning in Michigan, I wouldn't be fooling around (ahem), that I wasn't going to just do the same old thing, but I decided that I was going to bring out one of the greatest leaders we have in the Democratic Party (i.e., John "Paternity Untested" Edwards).

Of course, if you're among the one-third of Americans older than He is (aka, one-half of all likely voters), on your birthday don't be surprised if He throws you a More of the Same Same Old, Same Old™ "party" bashing you. That ought to make your feel special, you "bitter religion-clinger."

But look on the bright side. At least you aren't among the newest Americans about to be born. Even if your mother's nearly done delivering you but you still have one toe wiggling inside her womb, B. Hopemya** O'bovemypaygrade won't bother saying you should get any human rights. Don't you know He feels a woman's choice to shop-vac her baby's unborn brains out always trumps his choice to smile and blink and coo? What are you, some kind of bitter life-clinger who chooses to punish his mother by living? Geesh. I don't care if your brains are lying in pieces inside a "clinic's" trash can, you need to think of others for a Change®.

Just be thrilled you never got old enough to be His V.P. pick only to be denied equal payback for equal work because, well, that's above His pay grade too.

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