To everything they hoped:
Monday, August 25
Theme: Done Nation
"Hoisting United Nations Flag"
San Francisco Persons of Color Color Guard
"Pledge of Allegiance (to the UN Flag)"
"Invocation: God D*** America"
The Reverend Jeremiah Wright
"Welcome Citizens of the World"
"Song: Kumbayah, My Gaia, Kumbayah"
Chicago Carbon-Neutral Chorus
"Unveiling of the Convention's Official Windmill"
Anonymous Democrat Congressional Aide
"Oil Literally Makes Me Sick"
"Our McCain Bills"
Russ Feingold, Ted Kennedy, Chuck Schumer, etc., etc.
Kentucky Fricasseed Chicken, Flambé Green Tomatoes, French Boils
"I Feel It Is Peace for Our Time"
"Nationalize Everything Now!"
"What Would Lenin Do?"
(Never mind. That was answered by the last speaker.)
Tuesday, August 26
Theme: Reneging America's Promise
"Full Public Release of All My Military Records"
"Future of Personal Transportation"
DNC Bicyclists Club
"I Support Bombing Our Troops"
"Sanctity of Marriage (long version)"
"We're All Going To Die Tomorrow!1!!`@!"
"Where No Congress Has Gone Before (aka Single Digits)"
Very Organic Dinner
Blue Plate Surprise
(Hint: Just keep stabbing whatever's on it with your fork until everything stops squirming.)
"You Knit T-shirts"
Hillary Rodham Clinton
"Ask Not What Your Country Can Do for You; I Have A Dream; The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself; Etc."
"Tribute to Women in the Professions (Especially the Oldest)"
Wednesday, August 27
Theme: The More Government the Better
"If It Feels Good, Do It (and Demand that Government Pay for It!)"
Party Platform Committee
Alternative-Energy Policy Committee
"America Is Eviler Than..."
Foreign Policy Committee
(Dinner postponed due to Foreign Policy Committee still presenting its report)
All-Local Organic Dinner
South Platte River-Netted Catfish, Mile High-Harvested Turnip Greens, Rocky Mountain-Raised Raisins, Denver-Broiled Doughnuts
"Tanks for Everything, Barry"
Liberal Mainstream Media (but I repeat myself)
"Kiss My Address"
Bill Clinton's Interns
Thursday, August 28
Theme: Abandon, Ye Who Enter Here, All...
"Food or Fuel, That's Your Choice"
"Shot-Down Fighter-Plane Riders Are Like Sooooo Unprepared and Stuff"
General Wesley Clark (
Miracle Organic Dinner
BHO Plate Special
(Five loaves of bread and two fish serving 5,000, with walked-on water turned into wine)
"Gettin' Crowded Under Here"
Former Campaign-Bus Riders
"Acceptance Speech: Hope, Change, and... Uh, Err, Uh— Hey! Who Unplugged My Teleprompter?"
"Benediction: There's A Whole Lotta White People Crying Now!"
Father Michael Pfleger
Labels: Deranged Extremist Moonbat Obdurate Craven Retarded Appeasing Traitorous Slime (DEMOCRATS), narcissist liberals (BIRM), Useless Nitwits
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