Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

What else are we supposed to be addicted to, OdumbO?


your "alternative fuels"?


e need to break our addiction to oil."


You might as well say we need to break our addiction to a strong, growing economy. Or to technological advances. Or to medical breakthroughs. Just try doing any of those without Evil Oil™.

Better yet, go ahead and tell us we don't need to be addicted to that High Standard of Living thing. I mean, who do we think we are?!

How about this: You lead by example. Swear off all oil of any kind, shape, manner, or form which touches your life for just One. Single. Day.

One Day. That's all.

You yourself can break your addiction to oil for that long, can't you?

No petroleum products whatsoever. No quit-smoking pills that have a petroleum base. No oily cosmetics that make you look pretty in front of the cameras. No food that was harvested by a tractor or delivered by a truck or oil-lubricated train. No leather belts that were manufactured in a factory. No washing with any soap that was packaged inside a paper box. No electricity produced by any sort of turbine. No clothes containing machine-loomed threads. No computers, cell phones, or watches that run off batteries. And certainly no rides in any cars that use gasoline or grease.

Just. One. Day.

Come on, O'idiot. All you have to do is say, "Yes, I can" live totally without any oil, say, next Thursday. Show us how it's done, you pusillanimous quisling of Big Green Watermelon.

Show us your existential use of "alternative fuels" only. What? They don't exist? It's going to take "another seven ten (more like fifty) years for any of them to come online"? But that shouldn't matter. We don't need to drill for anymore yucky oil (not anywhere we have a greater chance of finding it at home, that is) when all those Wonder Fuels® (whatever they may be) are right around the corner. Right?

While you're at it, stop exhaling any more dirty carbon dioxide from your lungs into our atmosphere, you filthy polluter. Do it For The Children. Yes, you can.


You know, I actually Hope (©19172007 Obamboozle) you're elected president because there exists no more effective weapon for at last wiping completely off the face of the earth the scourge of your party's liberalism communism that has for far too long held our great country back, than yourself — a weapon you bring ever so much closer to launching every time you open your insipid, vacuous mouth.

Now that would be a Change™ we all can believe in — and forever live with.

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