Saturday, October 05, 2013
During the "Shutdown!" the agency can't regulate the air we breathe. So it won't let us.
he Øfascist Environmental Protection Agency's first instinct was to order every American's mouth and nose "temporarily stitched shut." But with the massive number of medical professionals fleeing the health care sector due to
Øfascist"Care" 4Ø4"Care", its enforcement officers determined this approach would be highly impracticable. Plan B — showing the officers YouTube videos that demonstrate the procedure so yes they can do it themselves — was rejected as well after EPA lawyers discovered that practicing medicine without a licence is, unfortunately, still illegal in most states.
Then the Deputy Associate Vice-Assistant Administrator for the Clean Air Regulatory Enforcement Division's Swamp Gas Inspections Sub-Bureau, Dorriss Litch-Boser, submitted an extremely ingenious proposal: "Hire contractors to build and deploy super-supersized giant vacuum cleaners, or 'SSGVCs,' around the country to barricade and contain America's unregulatable air." Naturally, the EPA administrator approved her proposal. A minority-owned business in Bethesda, Maryland, "VacuumZ Repair-n-Delivery," was contracted to build 17,000 SSGVCs and deliver them by November 1, to EPA's swarm of field offices across the United States. Each SSGVC would be capable of sucking about six billion tons of air out of the sky.
Responding to public concerns about EPA's plan, pResident fuBarack Øbombast said Republican members of Congress left him no other choice. "They're holding the very air you breathe hostage! If this Shutdown! continues much longer, we're all literally going to die, thanks to them," he told reporters between the 11th and 12th holes of the "shut-down" Andrews Air Force Base Golf Course.
Republican leaders countered that they have passed a bill that would fully fund the EPA, including its enforcement of clean air regulations, but Senate Demøcrooked misleader
Harry Reid Hank the Ripper has forbidden any vote on it. "He's already denied children with cancer the funds we requested for the medical research that could save their lives. So it's not at all surprising he wants them and the rest of us to not even have any air," House Speaker John Boehner said.
An EPA spokesman said the giant vacuum cleaners would be turned on a few days before Thanksgiving, unless the agency receives "its entitled funding."
Labels: Democrat War on Children, extremely irresponsible liberals (BIRM), Health Care Death Snare, insane liberals (BIRM), liberalism: THE ideology of hate, liberals are always extreme, Obama's War on Americans
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