loading...

 

Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

Just call me a conservative Miqey Moor

 

Or call this post my pet conspiracy theory:


D
an's time-traveling memos didn't work. Iraq's elections weren't a failure. Cindy Bansheehan's ditch dig-in wasn't holding water. "Oh how, oh how can we hurt Bushitler now," the Dhimm al'Qrats (it should come as no surprise) all whined.

No sooner had they asked that question than a Cat Five hurricane appeared on the horizon. "Now we've got 'em!" Nancy Pill-O-Sleaze screamed.

So a plan was hatched to make the hurricane's apparent glancing blow past New Orleans turn into something much, much worse — so much so that the president would get all the blame. "I approve of this plan to hurt Bushallibloodforoil," mumbled Governess BlameCo.

First they had to get all the residents around 17th Street cleared out so there wouldn't be any witnesses. But it would look funny if just those residents left and no one else did. Therefore they had to promptly issue a citywide evacuation order, while enticing any stranded residents to allow themselves to be herded into the soundproof Superdome. "How convenient," some poor unsuspecting conservative might utter when he reads this.

Thus their plan to finally hurt President Bush was set into motion. "Mwhahahahahah on you Chimpy and your vast army of evilly conspiring angry white male wingnut Jesus-freaks," Hilldabeast howled.

The hurricane passed by just east of the city, just as they thought it would. There was a bunch of wind damage but not much else. "New Orleans Dodged A Bullet," the newspaper headlines all read.

Then all hell literally broke loose.

Ms. BlameCo was certainly fastidious about not letting anyone she didn't specifically approve of enter New Orleans before her and MayIfButAndOr Nay-grunts' plan (and, it's strongly rumored, his patented Hurricanceler) went into effect, wasn't she? To add a touch of believability, the governess went on live TV and wept. Boohoohoooooo, she wept some more.

Next, the detonation that no one was around to hear blew a huge multi-block hole in the 17th Street levee. (See this photo of the "broken" levee. Notice the suspicious looking cattycornered wall-segment inside the red box, as if it were violently blasted off angle by a large, intentional explosion — not by mere water. Also notice the lack of any visible helicopters in that overhead shot.) "Boy, oh boy, oh boy. Bushwacker is gonna get whacked this time!" Tedboat al-Qennedy spat with glee as he contemplated all that water rushing in as a sort of appropriate, if indirect revenge for his losing the presidency one score and five years ago.

To ensure there would be plenty of bodies in the upcoming body count, MayYesNoButOr Nowgone had the gates to the giant parking lot on which hundreds and hundreds of school buses sat idle and useless — reportedly just a few blocks from his own office — all padlocked shut. "It's for the greater good of our party," I bet he told BlameCo over their ultra secret hotline to each other.

Soon the headlines and reports began to change: People were swimming. People were clinging to rooftops. People were drowning. "Bushie [somehow bypassed Congress's power over the purse and] personally cut funding for all the levees," a report planted by the governess read.

Now the plan was complete. Our president would get all the blame for all that damage to the "broken" levee and the resulting deaths and mayhem in New Orleans it caused. "If he blames anyone else I'll punch him in the nose, I will!" squeeled Senator Blandblow.

Think about it. A hurricane passes by — not hits — New Orleans. The wind damage is so slight that practically every newspaper declares it "dodged a bullet." Then all of a sudden some levee next to a mostly African-American neighborhood mysteriously "breaks." Hundreds if not thousands drown.

It's looking more and more like an intentional plan by Desperats to cause so much unexpected death and destruction in New Orleans that the president will get all the blame and won't have a prayer's chance in ACLU Headquarters of ever getting elected president ever again.

I'm planning on putting out a DVD explaining it all. I think I'll call it Molecule H2O.


A mix of magnified disappointment over and growing anger at Demoralizingrats' incredible playing of political power-positioning games, even as our fellow citizens' life and death struggles continue, contributed to this equally unreal theory.

Bookmark and Share  

Comments (registered users)

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link


Liberal Utopia

LC Local 666, VRWC
Solidarity!
V A
Victory
Blog
Never Submit

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


LUmail

Liberal Utopia
WWW


Site Feed

Subscribe to Liberal Utopia by Email

Archives

March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
September 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
September 2015
November 2015
December 2015
January 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
June 2016
July 2016
August 2016
September 2016
October 2016
November 2016
January 2017
February 2017
March 2017
May 2017
June 2017
July 2017
August 2017
January 2018
February 2018
June 2018
July 2018

Previous






G o o g l e
b o m b s
miserable failure
culture of corruption
sus barbatus
unelectable
wicked witch of the east
liberals
peckerwood
jew
great president