Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Seeing ahead a slow, quiet summer with Miqhael al-MoorOn.org in the fat farm, what's an evil vast right wing conspirator to do?
BusH(it)alliburton(ler)® hadn't been getting as much screeching coverage by jihadournalists in the al-libstream media. The American people were seeing less and less of out-of-touch, out-of-power, out-of-their-tree moonbats in all their imploding glory. Lest the latter face reality, start believing they're really as mistrusted and frightenly loony as the last six elections confirm, and finally retreat into a self-imposed shell of self-absorbed self-destructiveness — reduced completely to mumbling, incoherent heaps of Victimhooditude™ and Blameothers (©2000, SCOFL), far removed from any SeeSpinSpin cameras — something had to be done.
Emerging from the shadows of a rug-replaced, fumigated White House corridor, thankfully, came a man with a plan to fan the languishing
flame Cheap Bic Lighter of leftists' anguished anger before it wanned altogether (and leave them with a Texas-sized suntan to boot!). And he called it "Operation Banshee."
Using one of his secret Patriot Act roving (pun not intended) wiretaps, he stumbled one day on the
perennial perineal ranting and ravings of San Fransissyqo-based Students Against War Liberating People from Massgrave-digging, WMD-using, Neighbor-invading Absolute Tyrants. A gleeful grin glistened his grim visage when their keynote speaker, Cindy "Would've Taken My Son To Qanaduh" Sheehan, took the microphone. "No blood for oil!" she howled. "The biggest terrorist in the world is George W. Bush!" she barked to the students' thunderous applause. "Eureka!" exclaimed Karl Rove.
Fast forward to a wastewater ditch in rural Texas. Baking under a sun almost as merciless as their unwarranted coverage, the spewsmedia have thrust a hundred microphones in front of this
spokeswoman cruelly-used tool for MootOn.org, Code Pinko, Dhimmiqrats.con, Crawford Joooos-In-Pieces House, and other Anti-America Soros Seditionists plus their Hatefilled Ogre Leftist Extremist Schizophrenics (better known by their acronym AASS+HOLES):
"We should have more troops over there and we want to bring them all home." "We should go after Bin Laden and we don't want to give them any recruiting tools." "We're stealing their oil and our gas prices are too high." "War is never the answer and fascism, the Holocaust, and slavery [each stopped by war, by the way] are wrong."
So this spark of Rove's genius rekindled their unhinged rage, causing them once again to parade float after fiery float of their loony lefty logic-thingies, televised nationally for every American voter to see and hear. If the allegedly American press refuses to report any of our accomplishments in Iraq, why not hand them a ready-made nugget of solid fool's gold which they can unwittingly spend night after night on more (pun intended) self-defeating efforts by these foes of Iraqi freedom?
Miqey the Moor must be spinning in his rowing machine.
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