Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

God is racist


Just the latest theory about the catastrophe brought to you by — you guessed it — a liberal an It Takes A Village Idiot.

ct of racism. That's what Katrina was. She could've slammed ashore atop the sun-bleached sands of Vermont's coastal beaches, knocked down their adjoining oceanfront, two-bedroom crackerbox houses, caused the White River to overflow its banks, then headed on to devastate Burlington and the homes of its nearly all Caucasian residents, including al-DNC chairman Howlin' Dean's. But no. Liberals say the Lord picked New Orleans only because a bunch of black folk were living there.

This theory supplants the Bush Caused the Hurricane Because He Rejected Kyoto one which liberals had been touting before they realized that not even "Mr. Bush" possesses such supernatural powers. It must be God Himself who commanded Katrina to both smite African-Americans and sever off a quarter of the nation's petroleum supply (to drive up oil prices for the benefit of His and "Mr. Bush's" close personal friends at Halliburton, no doubt), thus killing two birds, if you will, with one stone.

Enough to make The Revvvrunds Jesse Jaqson and Al-Sharptongue become devil worshippers. (At least they wouldn't have to worry anymore about their not actually heading a real congregation of their own, then.)

The only problem for liberals with their new theory is that they first have to acknowledge He exists. So don't expect them to latch on very long to this one, either. Just look for them to promptly go looking for some other mortal to assign blame for what they obstinately refuse to see was solely a non man-made catastrophe. (Come to think of it, wasn't Bush 41 the president when Hurricane Andrew hit Florida — the most devastating one to rack our coasts before Katrina — and only eight years before Bush 43 stole the election there? Hmmmmm....)

In any event, the sooner we stop listening to loony liberals and their thimblebrained theories, the quicker we can all roll up our sleeves and pitch in together to make sure the fullest array of needed supplies and tools are immediately delivered to the refugees our fellow Americans there, as well as continue to help them out as they themselves work to get their hurricane ravished areas rebuilt.

May our Dear Lord guide and assist us in these efforts.

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