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Quadrangulation

 

Mapping the al-Qerry campaign's expansion of a Qlintonesque strategy


Q
linton was a staunch conservative. No, that's not a misprint. He ran as one, talked like one, even walked like one during his campaigns. For example, right before his first election he made a big show of personally signing the execution order for a convicted murderer. Such things gained him enough support from independents and moderate Dhimmicrats—while at the same time effectively quelling anti-Qlinton sentiments among dissatisfied Republicans who might have otherwise showed up at the polls to vote against him—that he could take for granted and even marginalize his own party's socialistic base and wind up with enough votes to get elected. Once in office, however, he transmogrified back to his real self: a social-engineering, no self-control, unabashedly radical liberal (as his party's base counted on him doing all along).

When you can conceivably pass yourself off to voters as not only a conservative but a Washington outsider, such a Tri-strangulation™ strategy works. When that's impossible, as is painfully the case with al-Qerry (the ultimate Washington, 20-year, do-nothing insider), you need at least one more side to play off against the others:

al-Qerry and President Bush are the same on X

Anything that our President receives high approval ratings on in the most recent polls, al-Qerry is all for. Last week it was foreign policy. According to Distorterats, both our full-time president and Massachusetts' no-show junior senator are the same when it comes to non-domestic issues (excluding, of course, such things as actively finding and fighting the terrorists wherever they are and toppling their state sponsors, not caving in to demands for delays or doing nothing by France and the UN Surrender Inc., and building an effective missile-defense shield in the face of China and North Korea's threats to "nuke Los Angeles" and intimidate our allies). Since this ludicrous sameness isn't panning out to be other than just one more blatant falsehood that none but the most gullible Americans are swallowing, next week it might be domestic policy: Qerry wants to make all of President Bush's tax cuts permanent, provide school vouchers, and so forth. When that doesn't pan out the way the Qerry camp Qommune planned either, it may be back to non-domestic issues again. Who knows?

al-Qerry and President Bush are different on Y

Anything that our President receives low approval ratings on in the most recent polls, al-Qerry is all against. This is more difficult to do since, compared to other administrations like Qarter and Qlinton's, most presidents would and probably did kill to have for their high ratings President Bush's low ones. Case in point: now that the president's approval ratings on Iraq have returned to their normal high (compared to almost every other war), al-Qerry is, for the time being, all in favor of us liberating and helping Iraqis. But during the temporary dip in those numbers, al-Qerry was against all that—even given the fact he voted for congressional authorization of our president's actions there. Certainly, President Bush is against government-bureaucratized health care, higher taxes, trillion-dollar increases in public spending, killing inconvenient babies, and non-gender based marriages, while Qhristmas-in-Qambodia John supports each one. But as an overwhelming majority of Americans are against those too, Qerry won't dare come out and say he's for any of them—even given the fact his votes in the Senate during the last twenty years (what little of them there are) all loudly proclaim that he is.

I supported Z before I opposed it.

Nuance alert! Qerry's first try at using this angle backfired on him miserably: "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it." That would've been little comfort to our troops had his vote against their pay raises and body armor been on the winning side, instead of being joined in the Senate by just his hairmate and ten others. His second attempt failed miserably as well. While claiming the intelligence reports he saw on Iraq—the same ones our president saw—convinced him Iraq's dictator posed a threat that we needed to deal with immediately, he later flip flopped by saying it wasn't really convincing but was way overblown. Last week he flop flipped after seeing a poll that shows Americans are still strongly convinced Saddam Hussein was such a threat. Qerry said he would vote again today in favor of the action our president took against that depraved, self-absorbed craver of absolute power (Saddam, not Qerry) based on the same intelligence. The things he's supporting now that he'll be opposing next week, however, is anyone's guess—including al-Qerry's.

I opposed Z' before I supported it.

Double-secret nuance alert! This is the semi-apologetic Qerry, saying he's learned and grown a lot since he was that foolish 50-year-old kid in the Senate madly voting for every tax hike and non-defense spending increase he could Deaniacally scream a "Yea!" on. Now he says he wants to not raise taxes (except on anyone from small business owners on up who create all the non-government jobs in this country) and wants to cut the budget deficit in half (while spending additional trillions of dollars of our money for us) and wants to create ten million new jobs (all inside his expanded government bureaucracy, no doubt). He also says he's changed his mind about slashing our defense budget and eliminating crucial weapons systems. After nearly twenty straight years of continuously trying in our Senate to do exactly that, al-Qerry wants you to believe he's learned and grown a lot there too. So all of a sudden he's supporting things that he long opposed. Just don't be surprised when he starts opposing them again once he gets back to the Senate (figuratively speaking, given his disgraceful job-attendance record) following the election.

Qerry makes Qarter look like Reagan when it comes to firmly taking a strong stance on anything. Even Qerry's connections with MooreDem.rat and other pro-Qerry groups won't help him securely wedge his campaign boat anywhere on those shifty sands. While al-Qerry's alienating his socialistic, hate-America base by mumbling about his phony conservative positions, it's becoming clearer than a swiftboat-empty river in Cambodia that once he finishes doing so, he'll actually discover there wasn't anyone left really supporting him except the far left.

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