Although George Will hasn't gotten around yet to posing another 28 questions to the chairwarmer for Hildabeast Demoswitch's presumed nominee for president, I've sent the Waffle House 2, or 4, maybe 5, no make that 6, all right 10 questions of my own. Here are the replies I got:
- 1. Please select the ONE statement that most applies to you:
- x I tossed my own medals and ribbons over a fence
- x I tossed someone else's medals as well as my own ribbons over that fence
- x I tossed someone else's medals and ribbons over that fence
- x I tossed myself over both sides of every fence
- _ I really like George W. Bush
- 2. What do you call that country you keep saying you served in?
- x Vietnam
- x Viet Nam
- x Fonda's Funland
- x Four-Month Stay
- _ United States of America
- _ Place where I really like George W. Bush
- 3. If a vote were held today to increase funding for our troops, how would you vote?
- _ I'd vote for it
- _ I'd vote against it
- x I've already voted for it
- x I've already voted against it
- x I voted for it before I voted against it
- x I voted against it before I voted for it
- _ I'd abstain and instead say I really like George W. Bush
- 4. Answer 'true' OR 'false': My economic
scribblings on an envelope plan involves raising taxes.
- x True
- x False
- _ No, it's true - I really like George W. Bush
- 5. What is your plan for defeating the terrorists?
- _ I'll fight them wherever and whenever they show up or might show up
- x I'll call them "rich" and raise their taxes so they won't have much money left over to buy bombs and other icky stuff
- x I'll let the UN come up with a plan
- x I'll defeat them with kindness and understanding
- _ I'll tell them, "Watch out! I really like George W. Bush"
- 6. Whom do you consider to be your political heroes? (select all that apply)
- x Ted Kennedy
- x Hillary Clinton
- x Bill Clinton
- x Tom Daschle
- x Bobo T. Clown
- x Mao Tse-tung
- x Joseph Stalin
- _ George W. Bush, whom by the way I really like
- 7. How many SUVs do you own?
- _ I own none
- _ I own one
- _ I own two or more
- x My family owns one
- x My family owns several
- x Someone named "Joe" who lives down the street and drives by my
mansion house sometimes, his family owns at least one
- x No one I know owns a SUV
- x Only the rich and very filthy polluters own SUVs
- _ There are no such things as SUVs
- _ I really like George W. Bush, who to the best of my knowledge doesn't own a SUV either
- 8. Are you for or against a Massachusetts state constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex "marriages"?
- x I am for such an amendment
- x I am against it
- x I am neither for nor against state constitutional amendments
- x I am for marriage to very rich widows
- x I am against marriage to less rich women
- _ If the amendment passes, I'll ask George W. Bush to marry me because I really like him
- 9. In your view, what kind of person is a "Catholic in good standing"?
- _ Someone who has never divorced and remarried
- _ Someone who isn't an advocate of abortion
- x Someone who goes to church, or says he goes to church a lot
- x Someone who says he's "a Catholic in good standing"
- x Someone who knows Ted Kennedy
- _ Someone who, as I do, really likes George W. Bush
- 10. If you could be any kind of fish, which ONE would you be?
- _ Shark
- _ Catfish
- _ Bass
- x Dolphin [trick question - they're mammals; don't select this one]
- _ Tuna
- x Duck
- _ A fish that really likes George W. Bush
There will probably be 10 more questions where these 10 came from.
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