Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

Lame Duckies, Go Home


We fired you. Now leave!


hy are you still here? How long does it take to clear out your the desks bought and paid for by the American people — you know, your bosses who just fired you?

Be gone or else we'll have the whole lot of you arrested for felony trespassing. It's our property, not yours. We've made it very clear we don't want you loitering around it anymore messing up the place.

You've stolen money out of our cash registers, going on wild, drunk-with-power spending sprees with it. Your "work" — if you wish to believe you could ever find anyone insane enough to even try to call it that — has been both futile and pointless. Not only that, you've wrecked our equipment with your gross incompetence. You've badmouthed and unlawfully threatened us and our families, calling us obscene names while illegitimately delving into our personal affairs. In short, you're an extremely bad influence on the rest of our employees and an intolerable nuisance to us.

You're also bothering the new employees — you know, the ones we just hired to replace your sorry, incompetent jackwaggons.

Get out of our houses.

Get off our lawns.

And — although yes, we can plainly see there's no longer any hope of ever expecting such an obviously impossible thing from you — Get. Over. Yourselves.

But most of all, get used to it.

After you've left the premises, literally for good, we'll tell our useful, competent employees to retroactively reinstate the current tax rates for every American in order to get people working again — you know, returning to those "three"-letter-word thingies called jobs. Something you clearly know nothing, much less have any business talking about.

The only evidence we ever want to have of your being inside our place of business is a bad memory.

No, we can't and won't write you any letters of recommendation which, unless prefaced with bright red 200-point-sized dire warnings of utter doom, would really require the willing suspension of disbelief in reference to any of your alleged "qualifications."

Maybe the Economy Destroyer in Chief's puppet master and Hitler's little helper George SSoro$$ will hire you since you did such a terrific "job" moonlighting for him.

Just look in the want ads under Professional Back Stabbers.

Of course, yes you can always go back to puhbleak heye skewl and learn to be an Austrian-speaking corpse-man.

Whichever you do, don't forget to do the first thing any do-nothing bunch of good-for-nothings such as yourselves must always do after they've done been fired:

Go Home.


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