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Who's likely to vote early?

 

Isn't it most unethical to conduct a survey after the Polls have opened, then publish its results before those Polls have closed?


F
rom here on out, the polls you're reading and hearing are increasingly "exit polls." If pollsterats exclude Already-Voted™ Voters® from their surveys of "likely voters," then they're really only polling potential Late Voters. That is, voters who're waiting for the local Demoqrat-HQ Van Shortbus to come pick them up and take them to the Polls on the very last Election Day, or who purposefully decided not to vote early. Pollsterats know or should know that such surveys, conducted and published while voters are still voting, are inherently unreliable. But that's the point: Their purpose is to suppress votes by depressing those latter voters, who would otherwise believe their votes can still swing the election in the opposite direction of those phony "pre-election" polling results.

How many voters voted early in 2004? Under the heading "Many Vote Early" in the post-election survey by Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, the answer is about 20 percent nationwide. (Pew claims early voters voted the same way as late voters, but points to no specific survey result to back it up. Also see, "Bush Voters Decide Early.")

How many states had early voting in 2004? The National Conference of State Legislatures says those states were Tennessee, Alaska, Nebraska, Arizona, Nevada, Arkansas, New Mexico, California, North Carolina, Colorado, North Dakota (most counties), Florida, Oklahoma, Georgia, Hawaii, Texas, Indiana, Utah, Iowa, Vermont, Kansas, West Virginia, and Maine. NCSL also lists which states had "No-Excuse Absentee Voting," another form of early voting: Alaska, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, California, North Carolina, Colorado, North Dakota, Florida, Oklahoma, Hawaii, Oregon (all voters), Idaho, South Dakota, Indiana, Utah, Iowa, Vermont, Kansas, Washington, Maine, West Virginia, Montana, Wisconsin, Nebraska, and Wyoming.

How many states have early voting this election? Besides Tennessee, which opened its Polls last Wednesday, the Asshatbiased Press says they are: Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

Since voters in 35 states are voting well before the very last Election Day, how are pollsterats distinguishing them in their surveys of "likely voters"? The answer is they aren't. They're just ignoring the Inconvenient Truth™ that voters are voting right now. (The meaning of "now" now is "up to three weeks before the Polls close on November 7.") But, again, achieving scientific accuracy in survey results is not their purpose. Influencing the outcome of our elections is.

Fortunately, those who live by their phony polls are going to die by their phony polls. Again. If hard-line pollslaves and pollworshipers feel these polls give their lives or arguments meaning, that's their business. Thinking for ourselves and refusing to be influenced so unsubtly by a press always interested in manipulating us into letting their fellow loserals "seize" government power, is the business of We the Independent-Minded People of the United States.


Correction (Tuesday, October 24, 2006, 12:54 PM): The 35 states that offer early voting this election also include Oregon. Tennessee was listed twice; and Washington was listed after, instead of before West Virginia. Affected sentence originally read in part: "Besides Tennessee... Oklahoma, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas... West Virginia, Washington...."

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