Answer the Are You A Traitor? quiz and find out what your Ethics Quotient is:Y
ou witness a thug beating up a little old lady in the street. You—
| (a) | Try to stop the thug yourself or otherwise step in to assist the old lady. |
| (b) | Call 911, report the crime, and turn the thug in to police. |
| (c) | Do nothing at all but claim later that you didn't have enough information or you were late for your job at the Slimes. |
| (d) | Hold the little old lady down for the thug. |
You find out that one of your friends is planning to rob a bank. You—
| (a) | Try to talk your friend out of it or, if that fails, tip off the bank. |
| (b) | Call 911, report the crime, and turn your friend in to police. |
| (c) | Do nothing at all but claim later that the bank had messed up your account statement once and therefore deserved to be robbed. |
| (d) | Load bullets in the gun that your friend's going to be using for the robbery. |
You are approached by a shady character offering to sell or give you national-security secrets that, if made public, could be useful to our country's mass-murdering enemy. You—
| (a) | Remind the shady character that what he's doing is illegal and refuse to accept the information. |
| (b) | Call 911, report the crime, and turn the shady character in to police. |
| (c) | Do nothing at all but claim later that at least you hadn't directed the shady character to the office of Abill Musab al-zarQeller at the Slimes. |
| (d) | Use your printing press to make those secrets public for the shady character. |
Give yourself 1 point for every "b" answer, 2 points for every "c" answer, and 3 points for every "d" answer. If your total score is 3 or less, you're a great American.
If your total score is 9, it's amazing you were able pull yourself away from your "job" as executive editor of the Screwing-Us Slimes long enough to answer this quiz. Do the terrorists know you're wasting time that otherwise could've been spent better servicing their "public interests"?
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