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Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

Retreat when we're winning?

 

How stuck on stupid would that be?


P
rogress, to a "progressive" (meaning "liberal"), means just the opposite of what practically every dictionary says it means. Similarly, failure in a progressive's "mind" means anything but. Why else, given just the following examples of "failures" and "no progress," would liberals entirely warp their meanings whenever they talk scream about Iraq?

"No Progress":

Found: 1.77 metric tons of enriched uranium in Iraq.

Found: 1,500 gallons of chemical weapons in Iraq.

Found: Roadside bomb loaded with sarin gas in Iraq.

Found: 1,000 radioactive materials in Iraq — ideal for radioactive dirty bombs.

Found: 17 chemical warheads in Iraq — some containing cyclosarin, a nerve agent five times more powerful than sarin.

From Human Events:

Contrary to ongoing reports by mainstream media outlets, WMDs have been found in Iraq, so reports New York Times best-selling author Richard Miniter in his new book, Disinformation.... [The above] is only a partial list of the deadly weapons Miniter reveals in his new book, Disinformation. Miniter systematically dissects the "No-WMD Myth" (how it started, and why it continues), as well as 21 other War-on-Terror myths perpetuated by the media.


"Failures":

Captured: Five suspected terrorists, by Iraqi and U.S. soldiers, following a Nov. 12 mortar attack against an Iraqi army officer's home near Baqubah, Iraq.

Found and disposed of: Two weapons caches, consisting of 22 proximity fuses for artillery rounds, two mortar rounds and two crates of small-arms ammunition, by Iraqi police and Task Force Band of Brothers' soldiers on Nov. 12.

Discovered, seized and destroyed: A second cache near Hawija, consisting of 19 rockets and a shaped charge designed to penetrate armored vehicles, by U.S. soldiers with the 101st Airborne Division's 1st Brigade Combat Team.

Unearthed and removed: A dozen caches in the country's north central region by Iraqi security forces and U.S. soldiers, just during the past week.

Confiscated: A weapons cache in southeastern Fallujah, containing four 106mm rounds, one 120mm mortar round, one 155mm artillery round and a bucket of primers, by Iraqi soldiers from the 2nd Battalion, 4th Brigade, 1st Iraqi Intervention Force, and coalition forces on Nov. 12, with no injuries or damages reported.

Caught and detained: Two insurgents in Barwanah, by Iraqi army troops from the 2nd Battalion, 2nd Brigade, 7th Iraqi Army Division, and a coalition forces' quick-reaction unit, after a brief exchange of gunfire on Nov. 12, with no injuries or damages reported.

Successfully flown: Close-air support and armed-reconnaissance sorties by coalition aircraft on Nov. 12 for Operation Iraqi Freedom, including support to coalition troops, infrastructure protection, reconstruction activities and operations to deter and disrupt terrorist activities, and support Iraqi and coalition ground forces operations to create a secure environment for ongoing Transitional National Assembly meetings.

Struck: An improvised explosive device location in the vicinity of Karabilah, by a U.S. Air Force Predator expending a Hellfire missile with successful effects.

Provided: Close-air support to coalition troops in contact with anti-Iraqi forces in the vicinities of Hawijah, Iskandariyah and Baqubah, by U.S. Navy F-14 and F/A-18s aircraft.

Successfully flown: Missions in support of operations in Iraq, by 15 U.S. Air Force and U.S. Navy Intelligence, Surveillance and Reconnaissance aircraft

Performed: A non-traditional ISR role by U.S. Air Force and Royal Air Force fighter aircraft with their electro-optical and infrared sensors.

Engaged and killed: A terrorist in the process of emplacing an improvised explosive device in Samarra, by Task Force Band of Brothers soldiers on Nov. 11, after they observed the man burying the IED under a pile of trash near an intersection

Removed: Three 120mm artillery shells from the last-mentioned site, by an explosive ordnance disposal team.

Rooted out: Terrorists in the Baghdad area, by Iraqi Security Forces and coalition forces as part of Operation National Unity.

Daily successes scored: Against insurgents in the Baghdad area.

Conducted: More than 1,030 patrols by Task Force Baghdad in one 96-hour period in November

Carried out: 100 cordon-and-searches and raids by Task Force Baghdad in that same period.

Set up: More than 400 tactical checkpoints throughout the Baghdad area, by Task Force Baghdad during aggressive combat operations in that same period also.

Detained: More than 250 terror suspects, by coalition forces during combat operations Nov. 6 to 11.

Found: Seven weapons caches, by coalition forces during those same combat operations.

Discovered: 37 IEDs, by coalition forces then as well, before the IEDs could be detonated.

While our troops' commanders there in Iraq call such "no progress" and "failures" typical, a liberal here on the faculty of Warren Community College in Washington, New Jersey, writing from his cushy office chair, won't call it anything of the sort except "when soldiers in Iraq turn their guns on their superiors."

Liberals have a traitorously dangerous way of defining "success."

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