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Justice Ann Hart Coulter

 

The Supreme Court nominee of our dreams (and the Dhimmis' nightmares)


C
all it the Raindead-Rove Strategy™. Once the leftards, including the Dodocrats, spend all their remaining resources trying to defeat Ann's confirmation, they won't have any effective ones left to obstruct President Bush's other nominees. Plus, Ann will turn the Obstructorat Senators into mincemeat as they try to question her "mainstreamness" and judicial temperament during her nomination hearings:

Ted Literal-Ladykiller al-Qennedy: Ms. Coulter, you once said that we should conquer our enemies and convert them to Christianity. Do you believe that such a view is in the mainstream?

Ann: Well, Senator, it's no less in the mainstream than drowning your secretary, leaving the scene of a crime, calling in favors to get government officials to provide cover for one's criminal acts, and still being allowed to serve as a United States senator. The only thing mainstream about that is the depth of the water under which that secretary got drowned by that senator.

al-Qennedy: Well, I never—I, uh, would hardly, Mr. Chairman, call that an appropriate answer. I ask the committee to strike the nominee's comments from the record.

Chairman: You're out of order, senator. The only thing that should get struck out around here is the womanslaughterer I have the grave misfortune of addressing right now.


Then she'll start to warm up:

Chucky Gungrabber Schumer: Mr. Chairman, I know my time is up, but I haven't finished questioning the nominee.

Chairman: You've already had two extensions of time, senator. I don't think the committee is in the mood for a third. Besides, how many times can you say "I don't think you're in the mainstream" without it sounding redundant?

Schumer Joe Wilson's Handler: Just one more question, Mr. Chairman. And it's this: Ms. Coulter, you are obviously not in the mainstream. Now why is that?

Ann: Well, senator, as I said in each of my last fifteen answers to your last fifteen questions which asked the exact same thing, it's this: Compared to someone who's a handler for a known pathological liar and a fraud, trying to obstruct justice by using joint press conferences with him to interfere with a grand jury investigation, all in a way that's thoroughly disgusting to any reasonable member of the public, I believe I am very much in the mainstream.

Joe Wilson's Handler: Mr. Chairman! The nominee is calling into question my integrity as a member of the United States Senate. I ask that you remove her from these proceedings immediately.

Chairman: Again? I thought I already went over this with you. Did she ever mention anyone's name in her answer. Only the guilty would assume she was talking about him. Your request, for the dozenth time, is denied. You make it again and I'll be removing you from these proceedings!


As she steps into the batter's box, a very tired old hand will wind up to deliver her a pitch—straight into the dirt:

Robert Exalted-Cyclops Byrd: Now, Ms. Coulter, it was Cicero—the great Roman orator—who once said that in time of war, the law falls silent. I would hope that, if in the unseeming chance you are confirmed to a seat on our illustrious supreme court, you might hold a different view than his. Is my hope justified, Ms. Coulter?

Ann: Excuse me, senator. I don't believe I understand your question. Are you asking me to relate what some sheet-wearing ancient Roman slave owner had said over two thousand years ago to issues surrounding modern warfare in the nuclear age or in light of the threat to our civilization posed by international terrorism?

Byrd KKKleagler Elf: If you would, please.

Ann: In that case, senator, I will say that no long-dead pagan orator could possibly know what he was talking about given how much the extreme Left in this country today is treasonously trying to use the law itself to give aid and comfort to bloodthirsty terrorists and America's other enemies in time of war and national emergency; how Leftist organizations like the anti-Christian ACLU are berating our brave men and women in the armed forces and totally disregarding their devotion, patriotism, professionalism and honor, by filing lawsuit after lawsuit against them and accusing them of committing such atrocities as not serving captured terrorists any lemons with their religious-dietary tea; or how a former national party has completely aligned itself with billionaire financiers and extremist radicals to beat our nation's wartime leaders over the head with entirely inapplicable international conventions, as well as to demoralize our troops, sow public despair and dissension, and otherwise dispirit us, weaken our resolve, and undermine our country's war efforts, not just for solely selfish, partisan, political power-grabbing reasons, but in ways that directly further the aims and causes of our nation's mortal enemies.

Byrd Senator Sheets: Mr. Chairman, I do not believe the nominee's answer is in the mainstream. Would you kindly instruct her to answer our questions, just as King John had to answer the landowners' concerns when they presented him with the Magna Carta in 1215?

Chairman: I am convinced that the nominee did a fine job answering your question, senator. Besides, your time has expired. It's Senator Feinstein's turn to ask questions.


After Ann hits every one of these Dirtbagorat spitballs out of the park, the judiciary committee will send her nomination to the Senate floor for a vote. Of course the Dhimmis will believe feel they have no choice but to obstruct that democratic process by launching another of their tiresome filibusters.

Eventually they'll exhaust every last resource they have left trying to maintain and publicly justify another judicial filibuster. Once that happens, President Bush can withdraw Ann's name from consideration. The Left will be so thrilled but totally drained over their costly, Pyrrhic victory, they won't be up to obstructing the nomination of either Ted Olson—whose wife Barbara was murdered by the scum terrorists on September 11, 2001—or Janice Rogers Brown.

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