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Tedboat Womanslaughterer al-Qennedy supports I'm The God! I'm The God! Resolution


Given that "is" can mean anything now, Qennedy likes how this bill's definitions might someday be construed as "unelected Dhimmicrat majority."

ary Jo Kopechne understood, albeit too late, that "catastrophic circumstances" means something entirely different to Tedboat than it does to people with undeadened braincells:

Congress passes `doomsday' plan
By Noelle Straub
Sunday, January 9, 2005

WASHINGTON - With no fanfare, the U.S. House has passed a controversial doomsday provision that would allow a handful of lawmakers to run Congress if a terrorist attack or major disaster killed or incapacitated large numbers of congressmen.

Controversial, as in not having any precedent or basis under the Constitution, its text or any law made in pursuance thereof? That's usually SOP for members of the Desperatic Party.

``I think (the new rule) is terrible in a whole host of ways - first, I think it's unconstitutional,'' said Norm Ornstein, a counselor to the independent Continuity of Government Commission, a bipartisan panel created to study the issue. ``It's a very foolish thing to do, I believe, and the way in which it was done was more foolish.''

Unconstitutional, as in attempting to contravene the specific provision of Section 5, Article 1, that clearly states, "a Majority of each [house] shall constitute a Quorum to do Business"? Being the living document that it is, it just grew a "who're able to show up" tumor after its last centennial checkup—at about the time Dhimmi "judges" started getting it hooked on freebasing copious amounts of liberal crack.

But supporters say the rule provides a stopgap measure to allow the government to continue functioning at a time of national crisis.

That's why we have an Executive Branch®, you ninnies. While Congress isn't passing bills to increase funding for Arctic Gnome Lizard Mating-Ritual Research™ or to build yet another bridge named after Mr. Constitution Robert KKK Byrd, the president and our federal agencies are doing their best to execute the myriad laws already in place. There's your stopgap measure. No need for a Five-Year Plan one that lets Qennedy's Qohorts run the Congress until they deem the country's ready again for a new election.

GOP House leaders pushed the provision as part of a larger rules package that drew attention instead for its proposed ethics changes, most of which were dropped.

Just one House leader's name is on this stinkburger: "Rep DeLay, Tom [TX-22]." Surprisingly, every Dippycrat (those able to show up) voted against it and all Republicans for it. Should've been the other way around.

No wonder any changes to increase the House's ethical standards were dropped. Outside that alternate, role-reversed universe into which the House dived on January 4, they would've stuck out like a sore thumb loseral's pointy head.

Usually, 218 lawmakers - a majority of the 435 members of Congress - are required to conduct House business, such as passing laws or declaring war.

But under the new rule, a majority of living congressmen no longer will be needed to do business under ``catastrophic circumstances.''

Instead, a majority of the congressmen able to show up at the House would be enough to conduct business, conceivably a dozen lawmakers or less.

And just see who even pays attention to, much less follows, any "law" passed "unanimously" by only Nancy Pillowsy in the House and Tedboat himself in the Senate while the rest of Congress' members are frantically trying to hitchhike their way back to Washington after a major snow storm Catastrophic Circumstance leads to cancellation of all their flights there.

The House speaker would announce the number after a report by the House Sergeant at Arms. Any lawmaker unable to make it to the chamber would effectively not be counted as a congressman.

So next time Representative Delay gets a head cold and can't come in, his seat immediately becomes vacant. At least that's how Representative Pillowsy will interpret the new rule when she arrives a half hour before the session starts and declares herself Speaker of the House.

The circumstances include ``natural disaster, attack, contagion or similar calamity rendering Representatives incapable of attending the proceedings of the House.''

Does losing all of one's senses as well as everything resembling sane decision-making count as "contagion"? If so, you can declare 220 seats in the House completely vacant as of January 4, 2005.

The House could be run by a small number of lawmakers for months, because House vacancies must be filled by special elections. Governors can make temporary appointments to the Senate.

Maybe then we could elect people who won't one day up and go braindead all of a sudden and pass idiotic changes to the rules.

Rep. Brian Baird (D-Wash.), one of few lawmakers active on the issue, argued the rule change contradicts the U.S. Constitution, which states that ``a majority of each (House) shall constitute a quorum to do business.

``Changing what constitutes a quorum in this way would allow less than a dozen lawmakers to declare war on another nation,'' Baird said.

It's pretty bad when anyone with a "D" after his name gets this and someone with a "R" after theirs doesn't.

Scotty, use the ship's engines to recreate the ion storm, then...Beam. Me. Up.


Adopting rules for the One Hundred Ninth Congress
January 4, 2005.


    (h) PROVISIONAL QUORUM- In clause 5 of rule XX, redesignate paragraph (c) as paragraph (d) and insert after paragraph (b) the following new paragraph:

      `(c)(1) If the House should be without a quorum due to catastrophic circumstances, then--

        `(A) until there appear in the House a sufficient number of Representatives to constitute a quorum among the whole number of the House, a quorum in the House shall be determined based upon the provisional number of the House; and

        `(B) the provisional number of the House, as of the close of the call of the House described in subparagraph (3)(C), shall be the number of Representatives responding to that call of the House.

      `(2) If a Representative counted in determining the provisional number of the House thereafter ceases to be a Representative, or if a Representative not counted in determining the provisional number of the House thereafter appears in the House, the provisional number of the House shall be adjusted accordingly.

      `(3) For the purposes of subparagraph (1), the House shall be considered to be without a quorum due to catastrophic circumstances if, after a motion under clause 5(a) of rule XX has been disposed of and without intervening adjournment, each of the following occurs in the stated sequence:

        `(A) A call of the House (or a series of calls of the House) is closed after aggregating a period in excess of 72 hours (excluding time the House is in recess) without producing a quorum.

        `(B) The Speaker--

          `(i) with the Majority Leader and the Minority Leader, receives from the Sergeant-at-Arms (or his designee) a catastrophic quorum failure report, as described in subparagraph (4);

          `(ii) consults with the Majority Leader and the Minority Leader on the content of that report; and

          `(iii) announces the content of that report to the House.

        `(C) A further call of the House (or a series of calls of the House) is closed after aggregating a period in excess of 24 hours (excluding time the House is in recess) without producing a quorum.

      `(4)(A) For purposes of subparagraph (3), a catastrophic quorum failure report is a report advising that the inability of the House to establish a quorum is attributable to catastrophic circumstances involving natural disaster, attack, contagion, or similar calamity rendering Representatives incapable of attending the proceedings of the House.

      `(B) Such report shall specify the following:

        `(i) The number of vacancies in the House and the names of former Representatives whose seats are vacant.

        `(ii) The names of Representatives considered incapacitated.

        `(iii) The names of Representatives not incapacitated but otherwise incapable of attending the proceedings of the House.

        `(iv) The names of Representatives unaccounted for.-

      `(C) Such report shall be prepared on the basis of the most authoritative information available after consultation with the Attending Physician to the Congress and the Clerk (or their respective designees) and pertinent public health and law enforcement officials.

      `(D) Such report shall be updated every legislative day for the duration of any proceedings under or in reliance on this paragraph. The Speaker shall make such updates available to the House.

      `(5) An announcement by the Speaker under subparagraph (3)(B)(iii) shall not be subject to appeal. [Mmmmwhhhaa haaa hahaha haha]

      `(6) Subparagraph (1) does not apply to a proposal to create a vacancy in the representation from any State in respect of a Representative not incapacitated but otherwise incapable of attending the proceedings of the House.

      `(7) For purposes of this paragraph:

        `(A) The term `provisional number of the House' means the number of Representatives upon which a quorum will be computed in the House until Representatives sufficient in number to constitute a quorum among the whole number of the House appear in the House.

        `(B) The term `whole number of the House' means the number of Representatives chosen, sworn, and living whose membership in the House has not been terminated by resignation or by the action of the House.'.

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