loading...

 

Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium façade and take a glimpse of hell.

Focus Group's Reaction To First Debate

 

CBS asked a group of undecided voters dwellers in TV-free caves whether watching this debate had helped them to finally make up their minds.


“H
i, I'm Leslie Stahl, and I'm with a group of undecided voters who just watched the first presidential debate between Our Darling Own True Love™ Senator Qerry and another guy. Let's find out what they thought of it.

"Hi, I'm Leslie Stahl. Please tell us your name and why you thought Mr. Qerry did such a wonderful job during this debate."

"My name is Travis. But I didn't think he did a good job at all."

"Thank you, Travis. Let's ask someone else now. Hi, I'm Leslie Stahl. What is your name and what convinced you that Mr. Qerry should be our next president."

"I'm Jean and I haven't been convinced. He looks and sounds too shady to be a president, especially during a war. I thought he—"

"You've hogged enough of our precious time, Jean. Let's be courteous and let someone else speak for a change. Let me try the back row now. Hello, I'm Leslie Stahl. What is your name and at what point in the debate did you decide that the other guy was a chimpanzee?"

"What are you talking about? I may not pay that much attention to politics but I do know that was President George Bush in the debate. The other guy looked like a baboon, not our president."

"I'm sorry, sir. You were supposed to give your name first. We won't be—"

"My name's Bob and I still think—"

"Sir, it's too late. We won't be asking you—"

"I still think that senator guy looked and acted like a baboon. He—"

"We won't be asking you any more questions. Please stop answering or I'll have you removed. Let's try this sweet old lady at the end and find out what she thought. Hi, I'm Leslie Stahl and what made you decide to vote for Mr. Qerry this November?"

"I'm Matilda."

"And why will you be voting for Mr. Qerry?"

"I live in Poughkeepsie."

"That's nice. Now tell us, Matilda, why do you agree with everyone here that Mr. Qerry is so wonderful?"

"Do you know anyone else who lives in Poughkeepsie?"

"Please answer the question, Matilda. How come you've decided to vote for Mr. Qerry?"

"Mr. who? Does he live in Poughkeepsie?"

"No. Now why are you going to vote for him? Just answer the question."

"Yes, I do live in Poughkeepsie."

"Listen, you bag of old bones, I don't give a flyin' flop which peasant hellhole you live in. But I do have your address, and if you don't vote for Qerry I'll find out and come to your house and break your osteoporosis-ridden arms. Do you hear me!—No, stop crying. Stop! Let me ask my producer to have you removed. You're being too disruptive.

"I'd like to apologize to our viewer for that. We apparently didn't screen her as well as we should've. She was obviously a Repugglican plant. Just goes to show you how low they'll stoop, using sweet old ladies like that to disrupt our fair and balanced discussion. Now where were we? Can I hear from someone who has decided to vote for Mr. Qerry after watching the debate?

"Anyone? Anyone at all?

"Well, all right then. It seems we're out of ti—Yes? You with your hand up, you'll be voting for Mr. Qerry?"

"My name is Dora, and I don't think it was very nice of you, the way you treated that old lady. I—"

"Thanks, Dora. I see you're clearly in cahoots with her. Do you want to tell everyone here and the person watching tonight why Karl Rove put you up to this?"

"I don't know any Karl Rove. I just don't like—"

"A likely story, Dora. If that's you're real name. I bet it's really Laura or Karen or even Condi. Isn't it? Isn't it!"

"No."

"Well, we're out of time. I'll turn it back over to you, Dan. Obviously, we've been infiltrated by a bunch of vastly conspiring right-wing Republitzer plants. They're probably behind all those questionable memos you innocently received a few weeks ago too."

"Leslie, this is Dan. I think you're right. Thanks for bravely putting up with that dirty trick they tried to pull off on all our viewer. What? Oh, my producer's telling me there might be more than one. Okay, so that's viewers, then. Thanks again, Leslie.

"Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. We tried to get the honest reaction of a few undecided voters to the presidential debate and were sideswiped by the dirty tricks of the Bush Campaign. It's a sad commentary on the state of our political process when a Republican—it should come as no surprise—resorts to stifling the freedom of the press in this manner.

"Sitting next to me is Democratic Party Chairman Terry McAuliffe, who asked to come on earlier so he could respond to the dirty trick that he told us he expected the Republicans would try to pull with our focus group. I have to say, Terry, you were right."

"Just as I said they would, Dan."

"Well, we have to break for a commercial right now, but I'd like your reaction when we come back."

"You bet."

"Good. We'll find out more about this dirty trick when we return. Stay tuned right here to CBS's expanded coverage of the first presidential debate.

"In the meantime: Courage."

Bookmark and Share  

Comments (registered users)

Post a Comment


Liberal Utopia

LC Local 666, VRWC
Solidarity!
V A
Victory
Blog
Never Submit

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


LUmail

Liberal Utopia
WWW


Site Feed

Subscribe to Liberal Utopia by Email

Archives

March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
September 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
September 2015
November 2015
December 2015
January 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
June 2016
July 2016
August 2016
September 2016
October 2016
November 2016
January 2017
February 2017
March 2017
May 2017
June 2017
July 2017
August 2017
January 2018
February 2018
June 2018
July 2018
October 2018
January 2019
June 2019
July 2019
January 2020
March 2020
April 2020
May 2020
July 2020
August 2020
October 2020
January 2021
February 2021
June 2021
July 2021
August 2021
September 2021
February 2022
July 2022
December 2022
July 2023

Previous





Gab @LiberalUtopia

Gettr @LiberalUtopia

Parler @LiberalUtopia

TruthSocial @LiberalUtopia

Tw*tter @LiberalUtopia

MeWe


G o o g l e
b o m b s
fraud
miserable failure
culture of corruption
sus barbatus
unelectable
wicked witch of the east
liberals
peckerwood
jew
great president