loading...

 

Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

Liberal Utopia Endorses al-Qerry

 

We know the parties' conventions are months away, and Hildabeast hasn't had a chance yet to hijack the Dems' nomination process. However, the L'utopians are getting restless, and are extremely anxious to know how we stand. Not that we care. But, still, it's best to avoid the rush, especially when all the world's tyrants, terrorists and back-stabbers are trying to flood the media with their endorsements. (If anything, it's our patriotic duty to make sure they're not the only ones making al-Qerry endorsements this early.) So we've decided to issue our site's official endorsement now.

What can one say about Hanoi John F'in' al-Qerry - defender of The Children™ (those who aren't being aborted, at any rate), protector of The Mothers (provided, of course, they're single and receiving government checks), advocate of Clear Skies (but not foreheads) and 57 Sauces everywhere, slayer of Tax Cuts, sharpener of Pointy Heads, voter for Things before voting against them, knower of Biggest Bunches of Liarses and Crookses Known To Liberalkindesses (as in, it takes one to...), and netter of the Nimbled Nuance (the flipping and flopping variety) - which hasn't been said 10 million job-promises before?

We were going to link to every substantive plan and proposal he's ever made and published on his web site. That would've taken up only an incomplete phrase or two, leaving plenty of room for an overly long and glowing endorsement. But you all probably already know about his ideas, like on outsourcing jobs (imposing what amounts to higher import tariffs which will invite sanctions from the World Trade Organization - whose establishment he voted for - and retaliation from our trading partners; but just ignore that nuance about Qerry accepting campaign contributions from "Benedict Arnold" companies while he voted for the trade deals that benefited those companies, or about his wife's multinational corporation placing over 70% of its factories overseas), on homeland security (making sure there are enough firefighters, firemedics, police officers, and morticians to take care of us - or whatever's left of us that can be scraped off the pavement - after we've been attacked), on health care (stuff about cutting "loopholes," creating "premium rebate pools," strengthening the "employer-based market," and costing "an average of $72 billion annually" - all incredibly detailed inside his whopping whopper 10-page "plan"), on energy policy and the environment (warnising wind wower wand wother wewewable wources, injecting "cellulosic ethanol" into his face our cars, floating along on a "hydrogen-based economy," adopting biofuel diversity, legitimizing the Kyoto Protocol, cutting more "loopholes," protecting "all of God's creatures"...aww, phasing-out snowmobile trails in national parks, and entering into a "Conservation Covenant" with the American People militant environmental groups), and on veterans (like full accounting underrug-sweeping of missing MIA/POWs and giving compacts to soldiers and not calling them village-burners anymore and stuff - that sound all right?). So we won't add any more to his pendulous spiel. Suffice it to say that here at Liberal Utopia we have never seen a bigger bunch of horse hockey well thought-out proposals than the ones he's offering for all little l'utopians everywhere.

For all these reasons - and more - it is a real honor and a great deal for us to keep ourselves from blowing chunks at the mere sight of his Lurch-like mug bestow upon the niliancy of Hanoi John F'in' al-Qerry, this first-ever official endorsement from Liberal Utopia:


Qerry - a real nil

A Realer Wheeler-n-Dealer Niler There Never Was


Congratulations to all lovers of democracy and Hunt's Tomato Ketchup (no botox or other sqerry preservatives added) throughout our great land.
Bookmark and Share  

Comments (registered users)

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link


Liberal Utopia

LC Local 666, VRWC
Solidarity!
V A
Victory
Blog
Never Submit

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


LUmail

Liberal Utopia
WWW


Site Feed

Subscribe to Liberal Utopia by Email

Archives

March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
September 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
September 2015
November 2015
December 2015
January 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
June 2016
July 2016
August 2016
September 2016
October 2016
November 2016
January 2017
February 2017
March 2017
May 2017
June 2017
July 2017
August 2017

Previous






G o o g l e
b o m b s
miserable failure
culture of corruption
sus barbatus
unelectable
wicked witch of the east
liberals
peckerwood
jew
great president