Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium façade and take a glimpse of hell.

You've been appeased


A-P-Peeeeeeeez'd on

ow my fellow conservatives and I know exactly how ninety percent of all black American voters feel. Except it's the Republicans McDemocains in our Tedboat al-Qennedy's Senate who're taking us for granted, not the Delibberats.

I propose an even better sellout compromise on the Amnesty1986® 2.0 issue. Instead of a Path to Citizenship™ for longstanding repeat offenders, how about a Twenty-Lane Highway to it? Or even a Non-Connecting International Flight? It would work something like this:

You're an illegal, unvaccinated invader undocumented soft fluffy bunnyworker who's been hard at work sponging off contributing to America's wealth. You need a Free Pass/Stay Off the Deportation Bus Feinstein-Fuschia Card so you can legally continue such contributing. However, having to go walk into an Immigration and Customs "Enforcement" office to get one would make you feel like a second-class citizen (no literalness intended). We can't have any of that because it would be too racist. So we'll just set up all along the border at 100-yard intervals a whole series of bubble gum machines with the fuschia cards placed right in them. Now don't think you can just get this free pass card for free. You'll have to pay The Fine™. In this case either a U.S. or Mexican quarter, which you'll have to insert into the machine in order to get your card. Also, to prevent fraud or falsifying of documents, you must keep this card inside your underwear (if any) at all times so there'll always be an ample biometric sample on it.

That takes care of the Home Invader Guest Worker feature of our Amnesty1986® 2.0 program. What about protecting the borders, you ask? Well, I've got a copout compromise for that too:

The word here is Enforcement, with a capital N. (You know, "n" like in "not" or "nifeintheback" or "nownewamnesty"— that is, "knowknewamnesty"— I mean "nonuamnesty"— er..."nonamnesty." Yeah, "nonamnesty." That's it.) Now, we could have 50,000 National Guard troops repelling the invaders asking to see your fuschia card, but they aren't trained for that. Besides, they're too busy doing the completely precedented job of actually stopping terrorists and potential threats dead in their tracks at the border of practically every other country except America. What makes anyone think they could do that same job here? Logic, people. Logic. No, we're going to do something that's really effective. We're going to contract the Mexican army to come across our border and enter California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas, and stop anyone who isn't in the Mexican army from doing the same thing. We'll write in that contract a Strong™ anti-bribetaking clause, so neither you nor anyone else will be able to get around them by buying them off. So there.

This plan makes more sense than hiring a bunch of additional Border Patrol agents. First off, Mexican troops already speak the language of your fellow invaders and occupiers hardworking undocumented contributors to our society, so we won't have to give anyone Spanish lessons. Second, it'll be less costly for the U.S. taxpayer because we'll be able to get away with paying them much less than the minimum wage. Plus we won't have to bother with any of that Social Security, Medicare, and OSHA paperwork mess. Finally, there's the element-of-surprise factor. Any tuberculosis carrier undocumented contributor who enters the United Stated undocumentedly will see nothing but Mexican soldiers. They'll believe they're still in Mexico and will become disoriented and confused. As a result, they'll go back and tell their families that there is no United States up north and that they might as well all stay home. See? I mean, ? Us American actual taxpayers will save a lot of money and paperwork. We'll no longer see any foreign international worker who hasn't arrived here legally. We'll really believe that's rain rolling down our backs.

Last and not most, I propose that we Crack Down Hard® on businesses that unlawfully hire anyone who isn't a citizen, a documented alien, or an amnestied remitter guest worker. They too will be required to pay The Fine™, depending on how many such persons they've hired. If one ever gets caught hiring 12,000 illegals decent, hardworking obeyers of Mexican laws only, that business will be fined a total of $3,000. You may not think that's a lot of money for a business that's making millions off exploiting people cheating the system paying inordinately reduced labor costs. But trust me. Not only is that shadow you see darkening the puddle really being cast by a rain cloud, but just think feel. A couple of thousand here, a couple of thousand there — that can quickly add up to some pretty hefty fines!

Now isn't this Amnesty1986® Second Edition program a better download than what the McDemocain controlled Senate released? Provided, of course, you don't live in Vermont where the snow only sometimes turns yellow.

Isn't it a great feeling being appeased like this?

Feinstein-Fuschia Card Bubble Gum Machine

Bookmark and Share  

Comments (registered users)

Post a Comment

Liberal Utopia

LC Local 666, VRWC
Never Submit

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


Liberal Utopia

Site Feed

Subscribe to Liberal Utopia by Email


March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
September 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
September 2015
November 2015
December 2015
January 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
June 2016
July 2016
August 2016
September 2016
October 2016
November 2016
January 2017
February 2017
March 2017
May 2017
June 2017
July 2017
August 2017
January 2018
February 2018
June 2018
July 2018
October 2018
January 2019
June 2019
July 2019
January 2020
March 2020
April 2020
May 2020
July 2020
August 2020
October 2020
January 2021
February 2021
June 2021
July 2021
August 2021
September 2021
February 2022
July 2022
December 2022
July 2023


Gab @LiberalUtopia

Gettr @LiberalUtopia

Parler @LiberalUtopia

TruthSocial @LiberalUtopia

Tw*tter @LiberalUtopia


G o o g l e
b o m b s
miserable failure
culture of corruption
sus barbatus
wicked witch of the east
great president