Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium fa├žade and take a glimpse of hell.

We didn't 'find' anything—terrorists attacked us with it


Hard to miss a WMD when your enemy's exploding it in your lap.

e support our troops,” liberals are fond of saying. How about supporting their mission, too, since their enemy (mine and yours as well, in case you've forgotten—especially if you live anywhere near a subway or large, enclosed shopping mall) proved he has access to weapons of mass destruction now and is very willing to use them against us. To be on the safe side, call this first detonation of his a "battlefield test." Our enemy has some bugs to work out before the next one.

In the meantime, liberals, shut up about our presence in Iraq not being justified. It doesn't take a jumper falling on top of you from 87 stories up to tell you the terrorists are in this for keeps and are gunning for you. This time with a cache of WMD that we know they have.

Better yet, keep saying it isn't justified, no matter what happens. I'm sure a lot of independent voters out there would love to hear what you have to say about how we "found only one"—that is, until the next one is "found" explodes. Then you can say "that's only two." Rinse. Repeat.

While you mull that one over, here's a nice bedtime story for you: Once upon a time the members of Iraq's ruling council asked the United States to keep a tight lid on all discoveries of WMD until after the turnover of sovereignty on June 30. The council's leader said that if terrorists knew we've already found most of them that those would be their prime target as they desperately attempt to spook America into scrapping that date and prolonging its Zionist Crusader occupation. The new Iraqi policemen guarding a certain warehouse might already have gotten wind of what's really in there, he said, and have (for a price) passed along that information to al-Qaeda. Hence the missing WMD shell and the test detonation of its chemical compounds a few weeks later. Moreover, the council's leader continued, it is the responsibility of a sovereign Iraq (not the U.S.) to inform the United Nations that it is in possession of Saddam Hussein's WMDs. Then the UN can come in a oversee their dismantling and destruction and welcome Iraq back into the family of nations as a fine, upstanding, honest member. The End.

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