loading...

 

Liberal Utopia

What your world would be if everything liberals wanted, they got. Open the door at the bottom of its Elysium façade and take a glimpse of hell.

246 Friends Of Osama

 

FOObar is their "patriotism."


S

tep one in the Demopsychotic Party's plan to defund our nation's war efforts stab our troops in the back while they're in harm's way and unnecessarily get more of them killed by terrorists who now have a real hope of defeating us and thus ever more reason to continue recruiting and training more killers.

The first hundred days of the 1st al-Qongress only halfway over, and already one of its houses has just handed our mass-murdering enemy something not even a "strong message" from Osama bin Laden himself has been able to give him: A renewed will to fight.

Inducted this day into al-Qaeda's Hall of Useful Infidels:

al-Abercrombie
al-Ackerman
al-Allen
al-Altmire
al-Andrews
al-Arcuri
al-Baca
al-Baldwin
al-Barrow
al-Bean
al-Becerra
al-Berkley
al-Berman
al-Berry
al-Bishop (GA)
al-Bishop (NY)
al-Blumenauer
al-Boren
al-Boswell
al-Boucher
al-Boyd (FL)
al-Boyda (KS)
al-Brady (PA)
al-Braley (IA)
al-Brown, Corrine
al-Butterfield
al-Capps
al-Capuano
al-Cardoza
al-Carnahan
al-Carney
al-Carson
al Castle
al-Castor
al-Chandler
al-Clarke
al-Clay
al-Cleaver
al-Clyburn
al Coble
al-Cohen
al-Conyers
al-Cooper
al-Costa
al-Costello
al-Courtney
al-Cramer
al-Crowley
al-Cuellar
al-Cummings
al-Davis (AL)
al-Davis (CA)
al-Davis (IL)
al-Davis, Lincoln
al Davis, Tom
al-DeFazio
al-DeGette
al-Delahunt
al-DeLauro
al-Dicks
al-Dingell
al-Doggett
al-Donnelly
al-Doyle
al Duncan
al-Edwards
al-Ellison
al-Ellsworth
al-Emanuel
al-Engel
al English (PA)
al-Eshoo
al-Etheridge
al-Farr
al-Fattah
al-Filner
al-Frank (MA)
al-Giffords
al Gilchrest
al-Gillibrand
al-Gonzalez
al-Gordon
al-Green, Al
al-Green, Gene
al-Grijalva
al-Gutierrez
al-Hall (NY)
al-Hare
al-Harman
al-Hastings (FL)
al-Herseth
al-Higgins
al-Hill
al-Hinchey
al-Hinojosa
al-Hirono
al-Hodes
al-Holden
al-Holt
al-Honda
al-Hooley
al-Hoyer
al Inglis (SC)
al-Inslee
al-Israel
al-Jackson (IL)
al-Jackson-Lee (TX)
al-Jefferson
al-Johnson (GA)
al Johnson (IL)
al-Johnson, E. B.
al Jones (NC)
al-Jones (OH)
al-Kagen
al-Kanjorski
al-Kaptur
al Keller
al-Kennedy
al-Kildee
al-Kilpatrick
al-Kind
al Kirk
al-Klein (FL)
al-Kucinich
al-Lampson
al-Langevin
al-Lantos
al-Larsen (WA)
al-Larson (CT)
al LaTourette
al-Lee
al-Levin
al-Lewis (GA)
al-Lipinski
al-Loebsack
al-Lofgren, Zoe
al-Lowey
al-Lynch
al-Mahoney (FL)
al-Maloney (NY)
al-Markey
al-Matheson
al-Matsui
al-McCarthy (NY)
al-McCollum (MN)
al-McDermott
al-McGovern
al-McIntyre
al-McNerney
al-McNulty
al-Meehan
al-Meek (FL)
al-Meeks (NY)
al-Melancon
al-Michaud
al-Millender-McDonald
al-Miller (NC)
al-Miller, George
al-Mitchell
al-Mollohan
al-Moore (KS)
al-Moore (WI)
al-Moran (VA)
al-Murphy (CT)
al-Murphy, Patrick
al-Murtha
al-Napolitano
al-Neal (MA)
al-Oberstar
al-Obey
al-Olver
al-Ortiz
al-Pallone
al-Pascrell
al-Pastor
al Paul
al-Payne
al-Pelosi
al-Perlmutter
al-Peterson (MN)
al Petri
al-Pomeroy
al-Price (NC)
al-Rahall
al Ramstad
al-Rangel
al-Reyes
al-Rodriguez
al-Ross
al-Rothman
al-Roybal-Allard
al-Ruppersberger
al-Rush
al-Ryan (OH)
al-Salazar
al-Sánchez, Linda T.
al-Sanchez, Loretta
al-Sarbanes
al-Schakowsky
al-Schiff
al-Schwartz
al-Scott (GA)
al-Scott (VA)
al-Serrano
al-Sestak
al-Shea-Porter
al-Sherman
al-Shuler
al-Sires
al-Skelton
al-Slaughter
al-Smith (WA)
al-Snyder
al-Solis
al-Space
al-Spratt
al-Stark
al-Stupak
al-Sutton
al-Tanner
al-Tauscher
al-Thompson (CA)
al-Thompson (MS)
al-Tierney
al-Towns
al-Udall (CO)
al-Udall (NM)
al Upton
al-Van Hollen
al-Velázquez
al-Visclosky
al Walsh (NY)
al-Walz (MN)
al-Wasserman Schultz
al-Waters
al-Watson
al-Watt
al-Waxman
al-Weiner
al-Welch (VT)
al-Wexler
al-Wilson (OH)
al-Woolsey
al-Wu
al-Wynn
al-Yarmuth


Their names are written in the red of our troops' blood soon to be on all their hands.

Bookmark and Share    

Doomsdays will keep them in line

 

    Global Warming Natural Process
(Enter, stage left)



E

xt. A Park   Coldest afternoon in history

Global Warming Natural Process is meeting his Friend.

Cloister bells ring in the distance.

Global Warming Natural Process
Boy, it's cold!

Friend
You say that every winter.

Global Warming Natural Process
I know I do. But this time I mean it.
(
stares up at sky)
It's really cold!

Friend
I don't know why you're complaining. It's supposed to be all your fault anyway.

Global Warming Natural Process
No it's not. The bipeds are saying it's theirs.

Friend
Since when have you ever been interested in what they say?

Global Warming Natural Process
(
kicks the ground)
Since I got bored and wanted something different to do.

Friend
Just like you. Never satisfied with the way things are. Can't you, just once, leave everything the way it is for a change?

Global Warming Natural Process
You mean change this constant insistence I have on having things change?

Friend
Exactly.

Global Warming Natural Process
But that would mean changing me. Am I not a part of everything too?

Friend
Don't pull your petty, logical arguments on me. That's not what I meant, and you know it.

Global Warming Natural Process
Then I'm not supposed to change anything. Excepting myself, of course.

Friend
(
brightening)
Right! Seems I'm finally beginning to talk some sense into you.

Global Warming Natural Process
For a change?

Friend
(
look of consternation)
Knock it off.

The wind picks up and it begins to snow heavily.

Global Warming Natural Process
(
shivering)
Dang it. I hate the cold!

Friend
Listen. Let's go in and have a cup of hot chocolate. You'll feel better.

Global Warming Natural Process
I think you're right. Let's go.

Global Warming Natural Process and his Friend walk toward a line of buildings across the street from the park.


Int. Java Joe's Coffee Club   Day

Business is brisk. The club is crowded with customers.

Java Joe herself has been running around, helping her busy employees take everyone's orders. She and her employees all wear name tags.

Java Joe
(
reviewing her notepad)
So, that would be three latte specials. One without cream.

Customer
Don't forget the nuts on mine.

Java Joe
(
smiles)
Yes, sir. I'll be right back with all of your coffees shortly.

Java Joe heads off toward the kitchen, passing by the main entrance just as Global Warming Natural Process and his Friend are coming in.

Java Joe turns back to greet them.

Java Joe
Welcome, gentlemen. Just find a seat and one of our associates will be with you in a minute.

Friend
Thanks.

Global Warming Natural Process and his Friend take the one empty booth, nearest the main entrance.

Just as they settle in, a waitress stops by and places two glasses of ice water on their table. Then she heads off.

Global Warming Natural Process looks at his Friend, annoyed.

Global Warming Natural Process
Bah. Even the water around here is cold.

Friend
Would you rather they bring you a warm glass of it?

Global Warming Natural Process
No. I just thought we came in here to avoid anything cold. Now I'm being served ice!
(
glares at his glass)
It's like they're mocking me.

Friend
No one's mocking you. Nearly every restaurant serves water first. When was the last time you were in one?

Global Warming Natural Process
Exactly four hundred years ago. A little place along the bank of what the bipeds call the River Thames. It was cold then too.

Friend
What on earth were you doing there?

Global Warming Natural Process
I'd overheard some bipeds talking about a Globe theater and wanted to check it out.

Friend
Let me guess. You thought they were putting on plays about you.

Global Warming Natural Process
That's right. You know how these bipeds are always mischaracterizing me. I wanted to see whether they'd started making a real entertainment of it.

Friend
And were they?

Global Warming Natural Process
Not exactly. I attended one play about some really messed up family in which the daddy biped got caught in a raging storm at sea.

Friend
So they were blaming you for that storm?

Global Warming Natural Process
No. But they did curse me for freezing their stupid river.
(
angrily)
Now why would they ever do that? They ought to know that I abhor the cold.

Friend
Sounds like you need to hire a PR firm to help change your, oh, so sullied image.

Global Warming Natural Process
Jolly joker. You could've been one of the jesters I saw in between acts there. They were bad too.

Friend
(
hurt)
I was just kidding. You know, you got to stop being so sensitive all the time.

Global Warming Natural Process
(
looking depressed)
You're right. It must be this record cold that's making me talk this way. I'm usually very cheerful.

Friend
I know.

A Waiter appears at their table.

Waiter
(
pulling out notepad)
Are you gentlemen ready to order?

Friend
We sure are. I'll have one of your best hot chocolates, and my friend here will have one too.

Global Warming Natural Process looks pleadingly at the Waiter.

Waiter
Will there be anything else?

Friend
(
jokingly)
Yes. Make it snappy. For as you can see, my friend's need is most desperate.

Waiter
Sure thing. I understand. All this global climate change we're causing is getting on everyone's nerves.

Global Warming Natural Process looks sharply at his Friend, in shock.

The Waiter walks away.

Global Warming Natural Process
(
agitated and hissing)
See? The bipeds are blaming themselves for this cold. Just like I told you.

Friend
I see what you mean. We'll have to explore this further.

Global Warming Natural Process
What do you propose we do?

Friend
Simple. You'll ask somebody.

Global Warming Natural Process
Me?

Friend
Yes, you. It's your problem, not mine.

Global Warming Natural Process
Okay, I will.

Global Warming Natural Process looks around and spots Java Joe talking to a customer at another table.

Global Warming Natural Process waves at Java Joe, trying to get her attention. She finally notices and walks over to his table.

Java Joe
Yes, sir? Is everything all right?

Global Warming Natural Process
No, it's not all right, young lady.

Java Joe
(
looks at table)
Oh, I see. I'm sorry no one's taken your order yet. What would you like?

Global Warming Natural Process
No, it's not that. What I want to know is—

The Waiter appears carrying two large cups of hot chocolate. Java Joe backs up to give him some room.

Waiter
Here you are. Two special hot chocolates.

The Waiter sets one cup down on the table in front of Global Warming Natural Process and the other in front of his Friend. The Waiter then takes his notepad out of his pocket.

Waiter
Who gets the bad news?

Global Warming Natural Process crosses his arms and leans back.

Global Warming Natural Process
(
grumbling)
Looks like you all do.

Friend
Never mind my friend here. He's having a bad day. Just give me the check.

The Waiter tears off a slip of paper.

Waiter
Here you are.
(
hands check to Friend)
Enjoy your hot chocolates.

The Waiter walks off. Java Joe moves forward and addresses Global Warming Natural Process.

Java Joe
Is there still a problem, sir?

Global Warming Natural Process
You bet your beads there is. I want to know how long you bipeds—

Java Joe
(
interrupting)
I apologize for your wait, sir. But, as you can see, we're quite crowded today. Let me get you some coupons to make up for the inconvenience.

Global Warming Natural Process
No, you're not listening. It's not about the service here. I've seen much worse. Just tell me why you bipeds feel that you're all the cause of this record cold.

Java Joe
(
confused)
What?

Global Warming Natural Process
Yes. Explain to my friend why your waiter there would tell us, and I quote, "All this global climate change we're causing" — "we're causing"! — "is getting on everyone's nerves."

Java Joe
The waiter who was just here told you that? When?

Global Warming Natural Process
Right after we ordered.
(
to his Friend)
Right?

The Friend, deciding to humor Global Warming Natural Process, nods in the affirmative.

Java Joe
Oh! I think I understand. You'll have to excuse him. He's excited about the visit we're expecting this afternoon from the senator?

Global Warming Natural Process
(
clueless)
Senator? What senator?

Java Joe
(
mildly shocked)
You don't know? I thought that's why you and everyone else are here at two o'clock in the afternoon. To meet the senator, of course. She's expected to arrive any minute now.

Friend
We didn't know. We just came in here for some hot chocolate.

Java Joe
That's all right. It was only announced this morning. Unfortunately, the Secret Service has asked me that I clear everyone out who isn't a pre-screened—
(
air quotes)
"customer" before she arrives. So I'll have to ask you two gentlemen to leave.

Global Warming Natural Process
What!

Java Joe
Yes, sir. And you'll have to hurry, too, because we're about to lock all the doors.

Global Warming Natural Process
This is ridiculous! Are you saying we're not allowed to come into a public establishment —
(
points to main entrance)
one that's displaying a "we're open" sign — all because some so-called "public" servant is paying you a visit?

Java Joe
It's for security, sir. From what the Secret Service told me, she's received a few death threats.

Global Warming Natural Process
I'm not surprised. If she's in the habit of keeping honest entities from enjoying their cups of hot chocolate on a record cold day, it's a wonder she hasn't received more than just a few.

Java Joe
(
growing suspicious)
Is that meant to be a threat, sir?

Friend
(
intervenes)
No, not at all, my good woman.
(
to Global Warming Natural Process)
Look, I think it best if we leave. We're not welcome here.

Global Warming Natural Process
(
exasperated)
You can say that again.

Global Warming Natural Process and his Friend get up and head toward the main entrance.

Before they can exit, two Secret Servicemen walk in, blocking their path.

Secret Serviceman One
Sorry, sirs. No one is allowed to leave the premises until after the senator's visit. Would you please retake your seats?

Title Over:
To be continued...

Bookmark and Share    

Liberal Utopia

LC Local 666, VRWC
Solidarity!
V A
Victory
Blog
Never Submit

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

ObaMeinFuhrer

Miserable Failures Obama bin Biden& more failures
& even more failures

Olympic Fail


LUmail

Liberal Utopia
WWW


Site Feed

Subscribe to Liberal Utopia by Email

Posts

  Friday, February 16, 2007
  Monday, February 12, 2007

Archives

March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014




Listed on BlogShares


G o o g l e
b o m b s
miserable failure
culture of corruption
sus barbatus
unelectable
wicked witch of the east
liberals
peckerwood
jew
great president